Diary of a Tired Black Man

There’s movie coming out that I have no intention of seeing. Diary of Tired Black Man.

I went to the website to watch the clip. I was about 1/20th of the way to getting mad but I didn’t.

I used to be one of those bitter black girls. I say ‘girl’ because I was very a bitter black female teenager. Teenager! Not even a woman.

In junior high and high school, I was an ugly duckling. I was skinny, I had a huge gap in my front teeth, I wore glasses (still wear glasses), I was skinny…and I was black. Those were the things that boys, black boys in particular, found unattractive about me. Black boys who liked black girls liked girls with meat on their bones and I had no meat, and then there was the black boys that just wouldn’t be caught dead with a black girl even if she was cute. So there you have it.

There were of course, a few black boys that found me appealing. But their hormones were surging and they probably would have found (insert the name of the ugliest female you know) attractive. Sex is a great motivator.

I don’t even want to write about college but I’m going to anyway because I know you want to read it.

I worked in the Davidson library as a part-time gig. One day, one of the star basketball players (he was black of course) was walking through the library hand-in-hand with this female. The basketball player was clearly an attractive male, his girl, is a different story.

When the basketball player and his lady left the library, my coworker, a white male, turned to me and said, “I don’t get it. That’s (basketball players name) and he could get any girl he wants. Why would he be with her? She is a total white man’s reject! He is attractive. She is clearly ugly. Does it bother you to see black guys with ugly white girls?”

My response, “It used to but not anymore.”

Then there was this one black guy that always went out of his way to be rude to me. One day when I was working in the library I was talking to a male friend, when Jack@ss comes up to us and interrupts me mid-sentence to talk to my friend. Not only that, but Jack@ss stood right in the middle of me and my friend, AND he turned his back to me. How rude was that? I didn’t even know this guy.

I’m tiring of this subject. I’m almost at 500 words anyway. Go figure. Let me say this, I haven’t dated a black man in two years, and if I had gone with my first instinct two years ago, I would have been five years since I dated a black man. My roommate convinced me that S was a nice guy and he really liked me. So I went out with him and as soon as I felt comfortable dating him, he flirted and exchanged phone numbers with the bar tender right in front of me.

Bitter black woman came back for a while after that.

Black men don’t like bitter black women, and let me tell you, I don’t like bitter black women, especially when I’m the bitter black woman.

Being a bitter black woman is exhausting mentally and physically and I don’t want to be a bitter black woman ever again. I will do anything to avoid being a bitter black woman, including swearing off all black men as potential mates. I just won’t go there.

I’ve had great friendships with black men, but I don’t think I can recover from the really bad dates and relationships I’ve had in the past.

I’ve only seen a clip of a Diary of a Tired Black Man, and like I said, I don’t think I’ll be seeing the movie. The difference between this movie and Diary of a Mad Black Woman is, Mad Black Women went running into the arms of a BLACK Man. That was a true Christian woman right there.


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