.Mac

Apple is really making it difficult to see the $99/year price for a .Mac account unreasonable. I paid $98 for two-year web hosting with Dot5Hosting and that was the cheapest I could find on the net.

My contract with Dot5Hosting is up in May of next year. I'm seriously considering switching to a .Mac account though I'll be paying twice as much for hosting my website. The features of .Mac combined with iLife '08 can't be beat. At the moment, I'm storing my pictures at Flickr and Photobucket (I rarely use photobucket) and storing my videos at Blip.tv and Youtube. With a .Mac account, I could eliminate all the different websites I use to store my videos and photos. Plus, uploading videos and pictures to my blog will be a snap. No more copying and pasting code! I can't wait until next year.

Blogs I Like to Read

I used to link to blogs I enjoyed reading but then I lost my blog because of a Wordpress upgrade. I've had every intention of linking to those blogs again but lacked the desire to do so because of the slow internet connection. :angry:

Miraculously, I now have the desire to post the links with a short description of what the blog is about. (This has more to do with the fact that I have more time to spend on my computer now that I'm about to leave Afghanistan.)

Black Female Interracial Marriage: e-Zine on Black Women and Interracial Marriage Options. This is one of my favorite blogs. If I only have time to read one blog, this is the one I'll read. I came across this blog over a year ago and I've been hooked since. If you're a black woman (bw) who's interested in broadening your dating options (other than going lesbian), Evia, the blog's author, has a lot of advice to give. Check out the archives, pictures, and links in her side bar especially the link "The Reward for BW's Loyalty." It kind of wakes you up don't you think?

Black Women's IR Circle. Halima Anderson is a published author with a non-fiction book, "Supposing I Wanted to Date a White Guy?" This blog is also about bw's dating options. Halima is a wonderful writer with plenty of essays to read from. As soon as she gets the e-book up for sale I'll be sure to buy it.

Sweet Potato Pie. This is a fitness and health blog for black women. I just discovered this blog today via Evia's blog and I think it's a wonderful idea. Fitness and health should be a top priority amongst all women. Check out the blog and make a commitment to yourself to stay physically fit.

I actually like exercising but I hate dealing with the hair afterwards. Too bad there isn't a blog to address this issue.

I have many more blogs I enjoy reading and I will be sure to feature them and provide links in the future. In the meantime, check out this blogs and the blogs these bloggers link to.

BTW, I haven't forgotten about posting another vlog. I'm working on it. I haven't found any music to put to it. If I don't find any music, I'll just post without it.

Setting an example

“I am fortunate to have been raised by my father, married to my mother, raising kids together and setting strong moral and ethical standards." - Diva, Musings of a Diva

I've been bombarded lately with people who have no regard for setting any kind of example for their children. I met a man today who didn't like wearing protection when he had sex with his girlfriend then accused her of trying to trap him when she ended up pregnant. This man is previously divorced with two children. One of my roommates plans on getting pregnant a year from now and doesn't care that she isn't married. By the way, she wasn't married when she had her first kid either but that's another story.

Diva's quote reminded of a post I had written ages ago about wanting to set an example and stop with the nonsense of having children without marriage and committment. Yes, it can and has been done, but in my opinion it is wrong for so many reasons. Here is that post:

I used to have a membership with match.com. I don't know why I joined, oh wait I do, my friend joined and told me it's a great way to meet men from outside the Antelope Valley. So I gave it a try.

I got plenty of responses but I think it had something to do with my screen name and picture.

One guy in particular could not fathom that I could be single and really wanted to know how/why I've remained single for so long. So I told him the truth:

Why am I still single? I don’t really have an answer to that. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m a Davis. My grandmother died recently, and at her funeral I saw family that I hadn’t seen in a while. The one thing I noticed is that all the women related to me by blood, were single. Though my grandmother was married for over 50 years, she and my grandfather were separated for like 49 of those years (grandpa was a rolling stone). He was around long enough to make a baby (six babies), and then he’d split.

My mom and her two sisters, all single. All of my female cousins (with the exception of one who’s last name was changed when she was a child) are single. And I’m still single.

I don’t know if there’s really a curse, but after four generations, it seems the need for a man has been bred out of us or something.

Then there’s the fact that I haven’t met a guy that could make me happier than I’ve managed to make myself. I hope this has answered your question.

I never heard from him again. (I can't believe I'm cracking up right now. It really isn't funny.) When I think about the women in my family, it's very tragic. To think the actions of one lousy man could effect my mom and her sisters, me and my cousins, and even my cousins children to the point that we can't trust men.

My grandmother raised six children by herself. My mom and her sisters, never actually said it, but I know they thought it when they were with the fathers of their children...

Let's just skip the life together.
You're going to leave me anyway.
Give me your sperm. Thanks!
Now be on your way.

That's the real issue with the Davis women. They've never seen a proper male/female relationship. They've never seen a marriage were there was devotion between a man and woman and a commitment to not only raising a family but keeping it together and functional. That's why I'm still single.

See what I mean? My maternal grandmother and grandfather set a horrible example for three generations after. There is nothing normal about this. That four line poem brings me to tears but it sums up my family accurately.

Stream of Conscience

I've been thinking about the purpose of my blog. First and foremost, this blog is about me which is why I named it after myself. Second, I want it to be "ism"-free meaning, I won't spend much time specifically talking about racism or sexism because there are plenty of black bloggers out there and they're doing a great job of it. So unless there is an incident involving me, the "-isms" won't get much mention here. I just believe there is more to life than the -isms and I want people to know that I have other interests like photography, writing, traveling, etc.

I went shopping for another domain address. Specifically the domain shavonne.tv. It's taken and I believe it's taken by the same people who own shavonne.com. Go figure. I was really bummed out about this since I plan to do more video blogging than regular blogging. But I guess it's all good. People can use the categories feature of this blog to filter the vlogs - just look for the Shavonne TV in my side bar under "categories". Issue solved.

I finally watched the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness. I really loved this movie. It wasn't what I thought it would be given some of the undertones. For some reason, seeing tv clips of President Reagan made me think it would somehow be a bashing of the GOP but it wasn't at all. Republicans swear by an hard-work ethic, anti-government regulation, and Christian values and this movie exemplified those values. Sort of. I'm just glad the main character was able to recognize that much of his hardship was the result of bad decision making and not the color of his skin. He persevered and came out on top. This movie is based on a true story by the way, so if this black man can make it, anybody can. I wonder if Chris Gardner is Republican.

I had an interesting conversation with some Navy buddies of mine. I was asked if I had had intercourse or wanted to since I've been in Afghanistan. Well, if you aren't familiar with my blog, I'm proud to announce that I've been celibate for over two years! He was a little shocked by this. He asked me why and I told him, "I can get everything I need from a man without sleeping with him." And it's true, too.

He asked me to elaborate on what I meant. I did and I told him "What I need is intimacy: deep conversation, hugs, holding hands, eskimo kisses, a good laugh, comfort, etc and I get that already. Besides, when the time comes and he can't give me these simple things then there's no way I can get in the mood for sex."

He asked me another question. He said I don't seem like I'm into dating black men. I told him that in California, black men don't notice me. He said, "Well that's funny because when I first saw you, you didn't come off as the type of black woman that would be interested in black men."

I thought that was funny. When I'm interested in a guy, I let my feelings be known. There is never any misunderstandings there. Now, I don't have much of an interest in dating black men, but in the past I was definitely all for them. So what is my preference? I prefer any man with the same interests and values as me, i.e, commitment to each other and to raising a family.

I'm looking forward to leaving Afghanistan, but I'm not looking forward to hitchhiking across the globe like I did to get here.

Everyone keeps asking me why I'm 22ish and don't have any kids. Well, I refuse to bring a child into the world without a devoted and caring husband. White folks get it, blacks folks don't. Nuff said about this subject.

Speaking of hair, a male friend commented negatively on another black female's hair. I had to come to her defense. I told him it probably takes her hours to do her hair. It's hard to take hair and style it in ways it just isn't meant to be. I continued to mention how many hours I spent on my hair just to get it in a stupid bun - 2+ hours! I mentioned how I want to cut my hair super short, like Nia Long or Halle before she grew her hair long. He asked me why and I told him, "One day I will approach 30ish and I don't want to gain a bunch of weight. The older you get the harder it is to ward off the fat. I plan on working out everyday to stay fit and I don't want to be bothered with long hair anymore. If a man wants a woman with long hair, he should get himself a white girl."

I will be posting another vlog soon. Hopefully within the next week. Stay tuned.

First Things and Other Things

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Originally uploaded by Shavonne

When I get home, the first thing I'm going to do is hit an In N Out burger. I've been craving a real cheeseburger since I left California. It's one of the few restaurants I'll miss if I ever leave California.

Now, for the other things. One of the unappealing aspects of being in the military is the fact that no matter how poorly you perform your job, you can't get fired. I've spoken with two people on this subject. One person said knowing you can't get fired no matter what you do is comforting. The second person said reenlisting is one of the first things on the to do list. The second person performs her job poorly.

Is there something I'm missing here? I personally would never perform any job poorly. Even with the Army, I at least try to uphold some kind of above-average job performance standard despite being bombarded with non-stop bullshit. And by bullshit, I mean the crap you're not troubled with at civilian jobs.

Speaking of other things I don't like about the military. When I was in AIT, I noticed animosity between the four branches. Being in Afghanistan, you'd think being American would unite the four branches and that you'd see more uniformity but there isn't. There are soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen from over a dozen different countries on the camp I'm at. Their Armies, Navies, Air Forces, and Marines (that's if these countries have four branches of military) all seem to be "fighting" the same battle (?).

Golly, this is more difficult to explain than I thought.

Take the British Forces. They all wear the same uniform. So do the French, Italians, Germans, Slovaks, etc., but our forces are so busy trying to look different from each other. While I applaud the Army for the change in uniforms, I'm actually saddened by the fact that there is a change in uniforms in all four branches giving each branch a distinctive look. In my opinion, American Forces should be wearing the same uniform!

Maybe that's why I'm craving a dang cheeseburger so much. It reminds me of America and they're pretty much the same no matter which restaurant you go to. The one thing that separates In N Out from the other burger joints is the quality of their burgers. They're so dang good. :smile:

Episode 1 - A Traditional Afghani Wedding

I participated in a wedding. I actually had fun. It was torture editing this video simply because I’ve never really used iMovie before and it’s been quite some time since I edited anything.

NOTE: This was posted to my other blog (Shavonne) a couple of weeks ago. Blip.tv does not offer posting to blogger so I have to use my YouTube account to post my video.