Not Sure about 2012

I'm not sure about 2012. It was supposed to be a new year with plenty to look forward to but it's already taken a turn in the opposite direction.

My mom got the news that my cousin was moved to a hospice. My cousin had a stroke three years ago and has been bed ridden ever since. Last week, her organs started to fail and the doctors can't do anything for her.

I can't imagine living like my cousin has lived for the past three years. I'm so independent and having to rely on others for my basic needs because I can't do anything for myself would drive me mad.

Now, all I can do is sit and wait. My mom is beside herself. She is much closer to our family in Detroit than I am.

On a brighter note, I am looking forward to this year despite the dismal start. I've considered dating again. I signed up for match.com but I haven't paid for a subscription. I'm not sure I'm that committed to dating. I hate paying for things I don't want or like.

I haven't nailed down my resolutions for this year. I need to commit them to paper and share them so I'll have someone to hold me accountable.

So I've nailed down the things I need to work on for at least the next two days. I need to go through my Bible to get the verses explaining the qualities I want in a husband and I need to work on my goals for my business. I've really let myself down with my business and need to start generating some serious cash. I'm tired of the commute and surrounding myself with people who have no desire for a better life.