"You have a nice butt."

You have a nice butt? That's what Dilbert said to me today. I hope there was a reason he said it to me. I know he doesn't think that actually turns me on. So I have a nice ass. BIG DEAL. He might as well have said "Give me some ass." See this is why I don't date people from the office. They start saying stupid shit like that and all I can think about is them dropping off the face of the earth. Now I have to look at him whenever I'm at work.

CompUSA, a Company of Thieves

CompUSA sure was quick to charge my credit card for an item they had no intention of sending. That constitutes theft right? I just want to make sure. You think they would have credited my account before telling me they cancelled my order. It seems only fair. They will probably hold my money hostage for a couple of weeks. Those Crackheads!!

It still seems shady. If they charged my account, they should honor the price. It's not my fault the company's run by idiots.

CompUSA Screwed Up Big Time

I was a work cruising amazon.com for anything of interest. I decided to check out the price of Adobe Creative Suite 2 Premium. It was some software I had been looking at purchasing but haven't built up the nerve so spend that kind of money on ($1,200) for fear Adobe would release a newer version of Adobe creative suite. Boy was I shocked by the price advertised at Amazon. $293 dollars! I didn't believe the price and did some more investigating. CompUSA was seller. I've done business with CompUSA in the past for computer and software purchases and was very satisified with their prices and customer service. So I went to CompUSA.com to see if maybe amazon had disclosed the wrong price. Nope, the price was $293. So I placed my order. Can't beat that price.

I got an email from CompUSA the other day with my order number and a thank you for placing my order. Then the email went on to say CompUSA could not complete my order due to a pricing error. Those crackheads! Rather than honoring the price and gaining an even more loyal customer, they informed me my order was cancelled. Those crackheads!

I emailed customer service and politely told them I would never do business with them again. It's pretty shady to advertise a price on two different websites and not honor the price advertised.

Weird Dreams

I had a dream early this morning. I'm not sure what it was about but my family was in it. And we were at a Chinese restaurant. It was all-you-can-eat night and we each order a different dish (I order kalbi [Korean barbecue]). I, for some reason, didn't like the chair I was sitting in so I walked around the restaurant looking for another one. By the time I found a chair, our food arrived and I started pigging out. Then I woke up and got ready for work. I wish I had time to finish the dream. I really wanted to taste whatever it was on my plate.

The Third Date

The first date with Dilbert went okay. It would have been almost perfect if we hadn't kissed. I didn't want to kiss him. I prefer just a hug and a peck on the cheek. Kissing, in my opinion, is a very intimate act and I don't like getting intimate on the first date.

Our second date wasn't so good. We made out on the couch or I should say he try to kiss me and I'd push him away. Then he'd pull me closer and I'd push to get away. Again not something I wanted to do. I attempted to keep his mouth off me by starting a conversation. I asked him questions about his family and he answered. When I asked his age, he didn't want to answer. He said he didn't believe in devulging too much information, like his age, to people he didn't know.

Huh?

I'm not one to tell someone my age. I prefer to tell folks I'm twenty-twoish, but to not want to disclose my age to someone I'm swapping spit with is stupid. I don't understand why he would be in such a rush to be intimate with me, someone he barely knows, but don't want to tell his his age. Creepy.

On the third date, we actually conversed. He told me communication was very important. (Hmmm, I don't think so.) So I told him how I had been uncomfortable the last time I saw him. He told me he thought I was really pretty and that he just couldn't help his urge to want to kiss me. He also said he didn't think there was anything wrong with his behavior.

So in a nutshell, his urge to kiss me is more important than my comfort around him. I don't like that at all. He attempted to grope and kiss me. As usual, I pushed him away.

The only thing I can say is, he finally told me how old he is.

It's Almost Over

The one thing about telling a guy it's not meant to be is they're never around when you want to tell them. I had to break up with Jesse in an email when I really wanted to tell him over the phone. I tried calling Dilbert last night but of course he never answered his phone nor did he return my call. I know he has caller id.

Sunday night, Dilbert finally broke down and told me why he wants us to be a secret. Apparently he dated someone in the building and it didn't go so well. She accused him of sexual harrassment and he was reprimanded. Now he's on probation and has to watch his back. I wonder who this mystery lady is.

I had a dream last night. It was about Dilbert and his mystery lady. In my dream his mystery lady is this lieutenant that works a couple of cubicles away from me. Now, if I had guess Dilbert's type, I'd have to say she was it. If they did date, what made her decide to scream sexual harrassment?

Whatever happened it's enough to have him paranoid. But the one thing I don't understand is why would he bother asking me out in the first place?

I hope I get the chance to talk to him tonight. I don't want to send it in an email because 1.) he doesn't want emails from me (too much evidence) and 2.) it's just plain tacky.

Going Out Tonight

I meant to call Dilbert last night to tell him tonight was off but when I got off work yesterday, all I wanted to do was dope myself up with some Tylenol and go to sleep. I had the worst headache.

He came by my desk today to ask if we were still on. Of course I wanted to say no, but since we were at work and I had the cubicle to myself (my co-workers took the day off), there were still people out and about and I didn't feel like whispering why I didn't want to go out, so I said yes.

He told me he would call me at 6 p.m. and pick me up at 8 p.m. Maybe I'll get the nerve to tell him I don't want to go out. I want to go out, just not with him. I'm not into him. I realized that yesterday. Why else would I blow off returning his phone call until after America's Next Top Model was over?

Breaking a Rule II

I spoke on the phone with Dilbert last night. We made plans to go out Friday night but we hadn't come to a conclusion about where we are going. He first suggested we go down to his hometown (somewhere in L.A.), but I thought driving down there at 8 p.m. was a little late for me. It is a 65-mile drive from Lancaster to L.A. and I'd still have to drive back once the fun was over.

The conversation got really interesting when he started to explain how he didn't want me to talk about our phone conversations or dates with the people I work with. Well, duh! I'm not real big on divulging details of my personal life in the workplace.

I was really put off by this. It was reminiscent of the last office relationship I had when I was in the Army. The guy told me we should keep everything on the downlow because he was promotable and he didn't want to risk losing his sergeant stripes before he had the opportunity to pin them on. I understood that. I would have asked the same thing. But after dating three weeks, he dumped me and he didn't do it with much finesse.

We were hanging out at one of the local bars together and the bastard had the nerve to ask the bartender out right in front of me. That was a blow. I've had that happen to me before. I shrugged it off and carried on with my life. It was awkward working with him afterwards but eventually things went back to normal.

The part that really got me happened a year later when the new soldier arrived at our unit. She was tall, slender, and blonde. He didn't waste any time asking her out and he certainly wasn't secretive about his crush on her. Yip, for some reason, he was willing to risk a promotion just to be with her.

That was the part that hurt so much. I just wasn't worth the risk. And this is exactly how I'm interpreting Dilbert. He thinks I'm not worth the risk. This is why I'm going to tell him I can't go out with him tomorrow. So much for breaking rules.

Breaking a Rule

I have this rule about office relationships-never get your honey where you make your money. And it's proved to be somewhat helpful. I came up with it after an office relationship I had in Korea ended disastrously. The jerk dumped me for a juicy girl*. A juicy girl!

Enough of remembering what happened in the past. It’s over with and his balls are probably rotting off as we speak.

Anyway, Dilbert, the guy that asked me out, wants to take me to the movies. I haven’t been to the movies on a date in a very long time. Not since I went to see Joe's Apartment and my date begged me to choke his chicken. And a time before that when I went to see Leaving Las Vegas and my date wanted to play with my kitten.

Yeah, I know, going to the movies with men tend to get touchy feely.

Maybe I should suggest we go for dinner and a game of miniature golf.

*A juicy girl is a Russian or Korean female that works in a bar. G.I.s will purchase a drink (consisting of juice) from them for 20 bucks. The female will sometimes do more than just sit at the table and keep the G.I. company...if you know what I mean.