Have you ever received a phone call from an old friend and realized there was a reason you hadn’t bothered to touch base with them? It recently happened to me.
Now, I had been meaning to give her a call to see how everything was going but I kept putting it off; in the past, she usually didn’t have anything interesting to say. She’s been consumed with baby-daddy drama for almost ten years. Ten years!!! I don’t quite understand why, considering he told her when they first met he didn’t want to be with her. He wanted to be with his pregnant girlfriend. I know this because I was there when he told her. To make a story short, she picked a go-to guy (a good fuck with absolutely nothing going for him) to father her two children. I told her this and she didn’t listen. I said to my friend “He is going to bounce back and forth between you and that other girl.” And he did. For ten years.
About the phone conversation. It went a little something like this:
My friend: I’ve just been working and taking care of my kids. I get up at 6 a.m. then I drop off the kids at the babysitters before I head off to work (her commute to work is almost two hours one-way). I don’t get home til about 9 p.m. (that’s after picking up the kids and picking some fast food) I have just enough time to help my son with his homework and play with my daughter before getting them ready for bed. It’s exhausting. I’m so tired. I don’t even have time to cook dinner so we eat out a lot.
Me: Wow. You sound really busy.
My friend: Yeah, but I have to take care of my kids.
Me: Have you thought about crock pot cooking? You could cook all your meat on the weekends then just heat up frozen or canned vegetables when you get home from work during the week. Fast food isn’t good for you.
My friend: Someone else mentioned that but I like to spend my weekends catching up on sleep and spending time with my kids.
I don’t want to bore you with our conversation, but that’s what I had to listen to. I grew up with a mom that commuted to work and came home to complain about how she was too tired to cook and do all the necessary things that parents must do. I’m not in the mood to hear about it now that I’m grown.
This is why I don’t have children. I don’t have a husband to help raise them. If it takes a man and woman to make a baby, then it should take a man and woman to raise one. But 99.9 % of the human population lives in the real world, not Shavonne’s World.
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Phone Calls From the Edge
Posted by Shavonne at 8:27 PM
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7 comments:
Shavonne sounds like this lady is one of those " whinners " and unfortunately we have all dealt with them in our life. They are the kind of " friends " who are only friends as long as you listen to their heartfelt dramas time after time. Friendship is supposed to be a two-way street but these friends are the most selfish kind. They think the whole world revolves around them. Always want you around when they need to talk but where are they when you need to? And the fact that she just called you out the blue makes me think she's working to ask you for a favor. Sister walk away because it's probably money she's after. If she calls again, I bet you she'll ask for some kind of favor.
Stacey-
She is a whinner. That is true but I've known her for 13 years. She just doesn't have common sense. She's the type that learns the hard way and alienates the people she knows because she doesn't listen to what they tell her then she bitches about how hard life is.
She's improved a lot. We spoke without her mentioning her babies' father. That's a milestone believe me. I done the hard love thing with her once and told her that if she was calling to talk about what that low-life was and was not doing, I was going to hang up the phone.
She won't ask me for money (her mom and dad have money) or a favor but she will expect me to hang out in her in her apartment, which I won't do. I've got better things to do.
oh, honey-dont get me started. i JUST let go of someone i called a dear friend because not only was she ALWAYS complaining about her life and times, but she started to put her mouth on my situations and i'm not having it. i tried to be supportive, but she always had a negative counterpoint so i had to give her the ax. getting rid of toxic people has been the best thing for me cuz we all have issues to deal with, but at the end of the day, folks need to handle their own biz cuz while i can listen and be encouraging-i dont want negativity to be the basis of a relationship. besides, i dont get paid to hear and try to fix other folks problems...maybe for "friends" like that, we should start charging like "girl, if this is a general convo, press 1" or "girl, if this is a "i have problems and boo-hoo, whoas me" convo, please press 2 and wire $49.95 to account # 123456". i think it could work!
LOL...she sounds like she had a lot of issues. I mean is spending only HW time with your son what you want to do for the rest of your life...so many women crook pot cook therefore allowing time for other things....apparently she is happy with the mediocre life
Shavonne: I don't blame you.
LOL @ miss a
I may not have anything to say about the rest of her issues but my main comment is on the statement you made about parenting. I feel very strongly about the unity of the family unit, especially from the mother father aspect on down. I have replaced fathers in my past relationships and also have taken most of the "burden" of parenting, without hesitation. Not because the only-I mean the only- thing that I love more than children and women are pregnant women, or the fact that I grew up fatherless; it is because I believe that I am a compassionate person. The idea of a woman, my partner, is completely absurd.
What’s so wrong with having a husband and children, these two factors do not necessarily foretell a life of frustration. Families are the most sacred thing to me. :'-(
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