Phone Calls from the Edge: My phone Rang off the Hook!

It seems I was very popular this past week.  I've heard from my unwedded single parent friend, her sister, the Actress, and my aunt and cousin from Detroit.

My unwedded mother friend called to tell me how a coworker of hers was recalled back to the Army.  She said everyone at work was extremely upset. I wish the people I worked with were that way.  I just constantly hear Bush-speak, moron-speak, idiot-speak or whichever you want to call it..."Oh thank you or your service" or "You're off to do better things...God has a bigger plan for you." Someone's even had the nerve to say "I support what's going on in Iraq but I would never go over there myself.  Thank you for volunteering and for your sacrifice." Considering the Army is calling my mobilization Involuntary Active Duty (IAD), do you see the irony in this idiots statement?

Anyways, After my friend with children finished telling me about her coworker, I broke the news to her about my impending departure.  She didn't take it too well.  In fact, she took it worst than my mom! She started crying and cursing Bush and his family and calling him an idiot (no need to remind me of that).

When I got off the phone with my single mother friend, her sister, my other high school buddy called. she asked a couple of questions about my deployment, I told her what I knew, and we caught up on what's been going on in our lives. (I haven't seen or heard frolm her in a year.

She's dating some club owner in L.A. I asked her if he had any goodlooking friends.

"Why you looking to get some?" she asked.
 
"No. I'm celibate."

It took her a minute to wrap her mind around that concept.

"How long have you been celibate?"

"Not long.  Just over a year." I replied.

"I don't think I can go a month."

The Actress and I spoke til almost midnight.  I tried to get off the phone sooner but whenever our cell phones dropped a call she would call right back.  Dang.  I tried hinting about how I had to go to work but the Actress, forever unemployed it seems, just couldn't comprehend that either. 

The next day I got a call from my aunt.  I don't know if any of you caught on yet, but I'm not exactly a phone person. I'm definitely don't like phones when people call to talk about baby daddy drama, gossip, or questions of when I'm going to bring a bastard child into the world. Yep. That's what my whole conversation with my aunt and cousin was all about.

"When are you gon have a baby?"

I've answered this question for like a thousand times already and the answer has always been the same.

"When I'm married."

Duh!!!  I mean really.  I've heard about dead-beat dads, late or nonexistant child support payments, and how hard life is as an unwedded mother-just the thought I joining that club makes me want to barf.

Then my aunt asked why I don't bother to call Detroit and I kept thinking because I don't like being questioned about when I'm going to have a baby.