I used to have a membership with match.com. I don't know why I joined, oh wait I do, my friend joined and told me it's a great way to meet men from outside the Antelope Valley. So I gave it a try.
I got plenty of responses but I think it had something to do with my screen name and picture.
One guy in particular could not fathom that I could be single and really wanted to know how/why I've remained single for so long. So I told him the truth:
Why am I still single? I don’t really have an answer to that. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m a Davis. My grandmother died recently, and at her funeral I saw family that I hadn’t seen in a while. The one thing I noticed is that all the women related to me by blood, were single. Though my grandmother was married for over 50 years, she and my grandfather were separated for like 49 of those years (grandpa was a rolling stone). He was around long enough to make a baby (six babies), and then he’d split.
My mom and her two sisters, all single. All of my female cousins (with the exception of one who’s last name was changed when she was a child) are single. And I’m still single.
I don’t know if there’s really a curse, but after four generations, it seems the need for a man has been bred out of us or something.
Then there’s the fact that I haven’t met a guy that could make me happier than I’ve managed to make myself. I hope this has answered your question.
I never heard from him again. (I can't believe I'm cracking up right now. It really isn't funny.) When I think about the women in my family, it's very tragic. To think the actions of one lousy man could effect my mom and her sisters, me and my cousins, and even my cousins children to the point that we can't trust men.
My grandmother raised six children by herself. My mom and her sisters, never actually said it, but I know they thought it when they were with the fathers of their children...
Let's just skip the life together.
You're going to leave me anyway.
Give me your sperm. Thanks!
Now be on your way.
That's the real issue with the Davis women. They've never seen a proper male/female relationship. They've never seen a marriage were there was devotion between a man and woman and a commitment to not only raising a family but keeping it together and functional. That's why I'm still single.
8 comments:
You may have identified the issue correctly but it's clear that you want to change something b/c you write about it all the time. I hope you find your way. That doesn't mean you have to not be single, it just means I encourage you to complete the journey.
In order to complete the journey I'd have to let my guard down. I'm not sure I want to risk getting my heart ripped out and stepped all over.
I think it is worth it. When I was looking for a man, I knew what kind of person I could like and I put myself in those types of position. Having said that, my parents raised us together. A brief period, my mother got mad at my father and left him with some of the kids, so you see, my father has always been around and he was trustworthy.
Good luck on your journey. There certainly good men out there...
I like the new look.
I think we lose when we tell people everything about ourselves too soon, especially intense family info. Something that might scare someone away when you first meet them is endearing after about 6 months of dating.
smartblkwoman-
I wasn't trying to keep him.
Cynthia-
I know there are good men out there. I just need to take the time to interact with them. Unfortunately there's a huge single man drought where I live.
Shavonne,
Maybe you live in the wrong place...
Even when you've had a stable model of a family and a stable model of the male/female dynamic, it's still extremely difficult.
I think I'm single because I haven't found the proper balance between sacrifice and selflessness in a relationship.
Without a doubt, it's tough to find a partner.
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