American Flags at Veteran’s Memorial Waterfront Park

American Flags at Veteran’s Memorial Waterfront Park
Originally uploaded by williamhartz

Can you believe it? I’m a veteran and I almost forgot about Veteran’s Day. It’s one of the few holidays I can actually celebrate. LOL

Happy Veteran’s Day!

Relax Time

I've just finished my paper and now it's time for me to relax. I don't have much time to blog. I doubt I'll be doing much blogging in the next year.

I noticed a lot of bloggers are making their blogs private. Why?! I suppose it won't be that bad since I don't have much time to surf the net leisurely.

I get a two-week break during my studies next month and I can't wait. I have a lot of things I need to do. I plan to write an essay about motherhood from a single and child-less-by-choice perspective. I've got an end of year video project I plan to produce commemorating 2007.

Work. I've settled into my civilian job. It feels like I never left. I can barely remember Afghanistan. If it weren't for the few pictures I took, I would totally forget the experience.

To date, I have yet to purchase music from iTunes though I frequent the store to listen to the song samples. I definitely plan to get Timbaland's new CD. I love the song 'Apologize.' Believe it or not there are Hip/Hop songs I would like to get. Fabolous has a song I like as well as Akon (Mama Africa) and Kanye West (Stronger). I've had my eye on Jon B's most recent album and India Arie is on my list as well. I think these will be my Christmas/Birthday presents for this year.

I almost bought a condo. Almost-as in once I saw how much the monthly payment would be I chickened out. LOL. The only good thing I got out of the experience is I know what my Fica score is. I'm very pleased. :grin:

I haven't seen any new movies lately. I wanted to see the new Denzel Washington movie but I don't care for the smell of popcorn and my attention span has gotten shorter for some reason so I doubt I'd watch the whole movie anyway. Besides, I haven't been to the movies in over a year. My last movie going experience was terrible. Don't want to go into details but to make a long story short, people need to teach their children manners.

I emailed my dad and asked him what he though of Dread locks? It wasn't a good response. He basically said they look nasty and unkept. He also commented that employers wouldn't hire someone with locks because the hairstyle is associated with potheads. (Don't employers require drug tests nowadays?) What's wrong with black people? Why is there such hostility to our natural hair texture?

Episode 4 - The Farm

Click to Play

This is video I shot when I visited my Dad in South Carolina.

I like goats. Their poop isn't mushy and it doesn't stink. Plus, they eat grass so they're natural lawn mowers.

A most horrible reaction

I left my Sisterlocks Lifestyle Journal (Summer '07) on my mom's bed just to see if she'd look through it.

Her reaction wasn't a good one and it pretty much summed up her attitude towards the natural, unaltered hair of black people - she finds it disgusting.

"Why would you want to ruin your beautiful hair? The only way to undo this is to cut it all off. I can see if you had hair like mine but you have long hair. You're not a loc/Rastafarian person anyway."

Wow. I can't tell you how depressed this made me feel. I could tell she didn't even bothered to look through the magazine or she would have seen the different ways in which one can wear their hair. I'm not much of a enjoy-having-my-scalp-burned kind of person either but she doesn't see anything wrong with me getting my hair straightened.

I been reading the blogs of women who've had their hair Sisterlocked. I really enjoy reading them too. I only wished they updated their blogs more regularly-but hey, they've got lives to live too.

Check out these blogs by Sisterlocked women. Don't they look lovely and so not Rastafarian!

Leighann's Sisterlocks Coils & Curls

Haven

It's Real!

Tuereonline2.0

Making money via blogging

I don't think my blog will ever be popular in the blogosphere. However, if it should ever come to be, I will never pass the cost of reading/maintaining my blog to my readers.

Why is this? Because there are people with blogs and video blogs who make money via advertisements. Companies are willing to pay for space on blogs!

One blogger is requiring readers to purchase a subscription for $20 per month to read her blog. You can get a whole year's subscription for a whopping $200! I'm all for getting paid for knowledge and advice on a subject, however, I believe she could make more money by soliciting companies to buy space on her blog.

For example, lg15.com earns 10K a month from advertisements! I read this in a tech/gadget magazine. So if they can make that much money on a 3-minute video blog a month, this blogger can certainly garnish a nice chunk of change from the hot-button topics on her blog.

My Curly Hair

IMG_2248.JPG
Originally uploaded by Shavonne

I really like my hair like this. I really do. But there are things that come along with wearing my hair like this that I don't like.

For example, I had to load my hair with a lot of goo to get it to look like this. I used products from the Curls hair product line. I think they are great but I don't like having to wash my hands three times just to get the leave in conditioners off my fingers.

The other thing I don't like I how much hair comes out in the shower as I'm combing out my hair with the conditioner. I also don't like the hair that ends up around my sink and floor after I'm done with the grooming process.

Third, it's Fall and soon the cold of Winter will approach the Antelope Valley and I can't go about walking outside with a wet head. So, if I wanted to wear my hair like this in the coldest months of the year, I would have to style it at night. The only problem with this is my hair will lose its shape and I will end up looking like I'm wearing a curly 'fro wig which is fine on the weekends but not the look I want for my job. Urgh!!!

And Matthew McConaughey is dating some Brazilian chick and I'm majorly pissed off about it!!!!

Sisterlocks

filled front cover
Originally uploaded by tuere.online

I've been contemplating chopping of all my hair because I'm tired of the hassel of blowdrying and straightening with flat irons.

I did a search for natural hairstyles and came across Sisterlocks.com.

I was skeptical at first because many of the pictures of women wearing Sisterlocks were rather middle aged (not that there's anything against that) and I wanted to see pics of women closer to my age.

I think Sisterlocks are beautiful and they seem very versatile. I'm not sure if this is the route I want to go. I guess I need to actually meet some folks with Sisterlocks to see if this is the journey I want to take.

Episode 3 - Got my hair done

Click to Play

Worthless. Absolutely worthless. I should have shot some video of the hairdresser burning my scalp or trying to comb out my wet and tangled hair. Heck, it would have been more interesting if I had shot video of her trying to convince me to NOT cut my hair.

Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision
Originally uploaded by Shavonne

I took a trip to the Apple store to play around with the new Macs. I always take a picture with one of the computers to commemorate the occasion.

Episode 2 - Hair

A while back I wrote a post about cutting my hair off and starting over. Well, I've decided to scratch the whole idea and cut my hair off in stages. One reason is because I can't find a hair stylist I trust enough to wack my locks off and two, I'm just plain scared.

BTW, if there is someone out there in Southern California who can do my hair, please, PLEASE contact me.

Life in the AV

Before I left Afghanistan, I said to a friend "My friends are probably up to the same stuff they were up to when I left." It turned out to be true.

I've been home for over two weeks now and back to the life I had been hoping to escape by now. Why did I come back?

I discovered that one friend is living in a women's shelter because her husband has been using her head as a punching bag. WTF?! I've met the guy and hung out with them several times and I never got the impression he was a woman beater! What a gross misjudgment on my part. They've filed for divorce. I have no idea how to get in touch with her. I just hope she and her 1-year-old son are okay.

My other friend, what can I say, she's been doing the same thing for like the last ten years. She just had another baby, her third baby with a guy who's not only shown her he doesn't want to be with her, but verbally said this to her almost ten years ago! I wish I could say she's finally seen the light but I can't. This would be one of dozens of times she's called it quits with this guy. It's a situation much like Kim Porter and Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.

I was very disappointed when she told me the news. All I could do was congratulate her. There was no point in asking her what she was thinking at the time. I already know.

I'm sad to say that I miss Afghanistan. It's been a long time since I was around people my age who weren't saddled down with responsibilities, mostly because they couldn't bring their families to Afghanistan.

The biggest bunch of POPPYCOCK I've read in a long time.

One reason I stopped thinking of black men as natural mates (for myself and other black women in general).

It's also another reason why I'm not Christian (or Muslim). A real man will never have to beat his woman into submission.

My New Website

I bought iLife '08 and installed it. I tested out the iWeb application and redesigned my blog. I'm not sure I want to host my website with dot Mac. Many of the features I'm used to with Wordpress/Dot5hosting I'm not getting with dot Mac. One feature I like about my blog now is that I can edit comments and leave a response to a particular comment in the same comment box but in a different color. Also, comments count towards disk space. After a while, I will have to go through my comments and delete them and that sounds like too much work. Before I lost the content of my blog a few months ago, I had over 500 comments. I couldn't image deleting them all.

Here is the URL for the dot Mac website I created. It's for a limited time only and won't be available 56 days from the date of this post. Tell me what you think.

http://web.mac.com/shavonne_natasha

Journey Home

I lucked out when I landed in Bagram. I was able to get myself book for a flight out that night.

Manas, Kyrgyzstan - I don't know what to say about the place. It doesn't appear to be dangerous because folks stationed there can leave the base. It is in a tax-free zone so that's a plus. The chow hall is definitely better than ISAF.

The camp is also five times bigger than ISAF and there doesn't seem to be as many people. That's all I can say about the place. I meant to get a picture of a mountain peak I saw when I was there but I didn't feel like getting out my camera.

Incirlik, Turkey - It was hot! Around 97 Degrees Fahrenheit and it was humid. I sat in the terminal waiting to reboard the aircraft. It wasn't that bad because they had free wireless internet there.

Baltimore, Maryland-I arrived BWI around 2300 hours on September 1st. The USO was closed so the airport staff allowed myself and other service members to rest in the observation lounge. I was great as they had cushioned benches and I was able to get some much needed rest.

I called my mom to let her know I was on US soil. She was happy to hear that. I can't wait to get home so I can rest. I don't really miss home as much as I hate being in the Army. I don't think anything could surpass my desire to be done with my military commitment.

I've noticed the children around me. They are so cute. I dont' know if it's the fact that I haven't seen small children in a while or what. I still don't want any at the moment.

There's this guy sitting across from me reading a book. He has earbuds in his ear. I wonder if he owns a Mac. That would make him extra hot if he does. I wonder how old he is.

I didn't accomplish much after finally arriving at CRC on Sunday, September 2nd. I turned in my weapon to the armory then went to billeting to get my room and linen. After that, I went to my room and took a very long shower then washed the dirty clothing that had built up since my departure from ISAF.

The following morning (Monday) I got up early to see where I was supposed to report to. I didn't get much help. One person on the staff said I probably wouldn't get any direction as to what I would be doing and where I would be going until after Labor Day. Huh?

I eventually ran into one of the officers I traveled from Germany with. He told me where to go so I could get my outprocessing started. That helped a lot. I guess everyone was assuming I was with the large group of soldiers coming from Iraq.

I didn't take any pictures of my journey home. There really wasn't much to take pictures of anyway as I don't like to have myself photographed in uniform. Sorry. It's my policy.
Friday, September 7, 2007

I'm finally home. It's great to be back. I slept most of the day away. That was the first thing I wanted to do when I got back now that I no longer have to sleep in a twin-size bed in a room with two other people.

I went through my closet to find something to wear. Let's just say that the first thing I'm going to do tomorrow is go shopping for some new threads.

.Mac

Apple is really making it difficult to see the $99/year price for a .Mac account unreasonable. I paid $98 for two-year web hosting with Dot5Hosting and that was the cheapest I could find on the net.

My contract with Dot5Hosting is up in May of next year. I'm seriously considering switching to a .Mac account though I'll be paying twice as much for hosting my website. The features of .Mac combined with iLife '08 can't be beat. At the moment, I'm storing my pictures at Flickr and Photobucket (I rarely use photobucket) and storing my videos at Blip.tv and Youtube. With a .Mac account, I could eliminate all the different websites I use to store my videos and photos. Plus, uploading videos and pictures to my blog will be a snap. No more copying and pasting code! I can't wait until next year.

Blogs I Like to Read

I used to link to blogs I enjoyed reading but then I lost my blog because of a Wordpress upgrade. I've had every intention of linking to those blogs again but lacked the desire to do so because of the slow internet connection. :angry:

Miraculously, I now have the desire to post the links with a short description of what the blog is about. (This has more to do with the fact that I have more time to spend on my computer now that I'm about to leave Afghanistan.)

Black Female Interracial Marriage: e-Zine on Black Women and Interracial Marriage Options. This is one of my favorite blogs. If I only have time to read one blog, this is the one I'll read. I came across this blog over a year ago and I've been hooked since. If you're a black woman (bw) who's interested in broadening your dating options (other than going lesbian), Evia, the blog's author, has a lot of advice to give. Check out the archives, pictures, and links in her side bar especially the link "The Reward for BW's Loyalty." It kind of wakes you up don't you think?

Black Women's IR Circle. Halima Anderson is a published author with a non-fiction book, "Supposing I Wanted to Date a White Guy?" This blog is also about bw's dating options. Halima is a wonderful writer with plenty of essays to read from. As soon as she gets the e-book up for sale I'll be sure to buy it.

Sweet Potato Pie. This is a fitness and health blog for black women. I just discovered this blog today via Evia's blog and I think it's a wonderful idea. Fitness and health should be a top priority amongst all women. Check out the blog and make a commitment to yourself to stay physically fit.

I actually like exercising but I hate dealing with the hair afterwards. Too bad there isn't a blog to address this issue.

I have many more blogs I enjoy reading and I will be sure to feature them and provide links in the future. In the meantime, check out this blogs and the blogs these bloggers link to.

BTW, I haven't forgotten about posting another vlog. I'm working on it. I haven't found any music to put to it. If I don't find any music, I'll just post without it.

Setting an example

“I am fortunate to have been raised by my father, married to my mother, raising kids together and setting strong moral and ethical standards." - Diva, Musings of a Diva

I've been bombarded lately with people who have no regard for setting any kind of example for their children. I met a man today who didn't like wearing protection when he had sex with his girlfriend then accused her of trying to trap him when she ended up pregnant. This man is previously divorced with two children. One of my roommates plans on getting pregnant a year from now and doesn't care that she isn't married. By the way, she wasn't married when she had her first kid either but that's another story.

Diva's quote reminded of a post I had written ages ago about wanting to set an example and stop with the nonsense of having children without marriage and committment. Yes, it can and has been done, but in my opinion it is wrong for so many reasons. Here is that post:

I used to have a membership with match.com. I don't know why I joined, oh wait I do, my friend joined and told me it's a great way to meet men from outside the Antelope Valley. So I gave it a try.

I got plenty of responses but I think it had something to do with my screen name and picture.

One guy in particular could not fathom that I could be single and really wanted to know how/why I've remained single for so long. So I told him the truth:

Why am I still single? I don’t really have an answer to that. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m a Davis. My grandmother died recently, and at her funeral I saw family that I hadn’t seen in a while. The one thing I noticed is that all the women related to me by blood, were single. Though my grandmother was married for over 50 years, she and my grandfather were separated for like 49 of those years (grandpa was a rolling stone). He was around long enough to make a baby (six babies), and then he’d split.

My mom and her two sisters, all single. All of my female cousins (with the exception of one who’s last name was changed when she was a child) are single. And I’m still single.

I don’t know if there’s really a curse, but after four generations, it seems the need for a man has been bred out of us or something.

Then there’s the fact that I haven’t met a guy that could make me happier than I’ve managed to make myself. I hope this has answered your question.

I never heard from him again. (I can't believe I'm cracking up right now. It really isn't funny.) When I think about the women in my family, it's very tragic. To think the actions of one lousy man could effect my mom and her sisters, me and my cousins, and even my cousins children to the point that we can't trust men.

My grandmother raised six children by herself. My mom and her sisters, never actually said it, but I know they thought it when they were with the fathers of their children...

Let's just skip the life together.
You're going to leave me anyway.
Give me your sperm. Thanks!
Now be on your way.

That's the real issue with the Davis women. They've never seen a proper male/female relationship. They've never seen a marriage were there was devotion between a man and woman and a commitment to not only raising a family but keeping it together and functional. That's why I'm still single.

See what I mean? My maternal grandmother and grandfather set a horrible example for three generations after. There is nothing normal about this. That four line poem brings me to tears but it sums up my family accurately.

Stream of Conscience

I've been thinking about the purpose of my blog. First and foremost, this blog is about me which is why I named it after myself. Second, I want it to be "ism"-free meaning, I won't spend much time specifically talking about racism or sexism because there are plenty of black bloggers out there and they're doing a great job of it. So unless there is an incident involving me, the "-isms" won't get much mention here. I just believe there is more to life than the -isms and I want people to know that I have other interests like photography, writing, traveling, etc.

I went shopping for another domain address. Specifically the domain shavonne.tv. It's taken and I believe it's taken by the same people who own shavonne.com. Go figure. I was really bummed out about this since I plan to do more video blogging than regular blogging. But I guess it's all good. People can use the categories feature of this blog to filter the vlogs - just look for the Shavonne TV in my side bar under "categories". Issue solved.

I finally watched the Will Smith movie The Pursuit of Happyness. I really loved this movie. It wasn't what I thought it would be given some of the undertones. For some reason, seeing tv clips of President Reagan made me think it would somehow be a bashing of the GOP but it wasn't at all. Republicans swear by an hard-work ethic, anti-government regulation, and Christian values and this movie exemplified those values. Sort of. I'm just glad the main character was able to recognize that much of his hardship was the result of bad decision making and not the color of his skin. He persevered and came out on top. This movie is based on a true story by the way, so if this black man can make it, anybody can. I wonder if Chris Gardner is Republican.

I had an interesting conversation with some Navy buddies of mine. I was asked if I had had intercourse or wanted to since I've been in Afghanistan. Well, if you aren't familiar with my blog, I'm proud to announce that I've been celibate for over two years! He was a little shocked by this. He asked me why and I told him, "I can get everything I need from a man without sleeping with him." And it's true, too.

He asked me to elaborate on what I meant. I did and I told him "What I need is intimacy: deep conversation, hugs, holding hands, eskimo kisses, a good laugh, comfort, etc and I get that already. Besides, when the time comes and he can't give me these simple things then there's no way I can get in the mood for sex."

He asked me another question. He said I don't seem like I'm into dating black men. I told him that in California, black men don't notice me. He said, "Well that's funny because when I first saw you, you didn't come off as the type of black woman that would be interested in black men."

I thought that was funny. When I'm interested in a guy, I let my feelings be known. There is never any misunderstandings there. Now, I don't have much of an interest in dating black men, but in the past I was definitely all for them. So what is my preference? I prefer any man with the same interests and values as me, i.e, commitment to each other and to raising a family.

I'm looking forward to leaving Afghanistan, but I'm not looking forward to hitchhiking across the globe like I did to get here.

Everyone keeps asking me why I'm 22ish and don't have any kids. Well, I refuse to bring a child into the world without a devoted and caring husband. White folks get it, blacks folks don't. Nuff said about this subject.

Speaking of hair, a male friend commented negatively on another black female's hair. I had to come to her defense. I told him it probably takes her hours to do her hair. It's hard to take hair and style it in ways it just isn't meant to be. I continued to mention how many hours I spent on my hair just to get it in a stupid bun - 2+ hours! I mentioned how I want to cut my hair super short, like Nia Long or Halle before she grew her hair long. He asked me why and I told him, "One day I will approach 30ish and I don't want to gain a bunch of weight. The older you get the harder it is to ward off the fat. I plan on working out everyday to stay fit and I don't want to be bothered with long hair anymore. If a man wants a woman with long hair, he should get himself a white girl."

I will be posting another vlog soon. Hopefully within the next week. Stay tuned.

First Things and Other Things

IMG_0980.JPG
Originally uploaded by Shavonne

When I get home, the first thing I'm going to do is hit an In N Out burger. I've been craving a real cheeseburger since I left California. It's one of the few restaurants I'll miss if I ever leave California.

Now, for the other things. One of the unappealing aspects of being in the military is the fact that no matter how poorly you perform your job, you can't get fired. I've spoken with two people on this subject. One person said knowing you can't get fired no matter what you do is comforting. The second person said reenlisting is one of the first things on the to do list. The second person performs her job poorly.

Is there something I'm missing here? I personally would never perform any job poorly. Even with the Army, I at least try to uphold some kind of above-average job performance standard despite being bombarded with non-stop bullshit. And by bullshit, I mean the crap you're not troubled with at civilian jobs.

Speaking of other things I don't like about the military. When I was in AIT, I noticed animosity between the four branches. Being in Afghanistan, you'd think being American would unite the four branches and that you'd see more uniformity but there isn't. There are soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen from over a dozen different countries on the camp I'm at. Their Armies, Navies, Air Forces, and Marines (that's if these countries have four branches of military) all seem to be "fighting" the same battle (?).

Golly, this is more difficult to explain than I thought.

Take the British Forces. They all wear the same uniform. So do the French, Italians, Germans, Slovaks, etc., but our forces are so busy trying to look different from each other. While I applaud the Army for the change in uniforms, I'm actually saddened by the fact that there is a change in uniforms in all four branches giving each branch a distinctive look. In my opinion, American Forces should be wearing the same uniform!

Maybe that's why I'm craving a dang cheeseburger so much. It reminds me of America and they're pretty much the same no matter which restaurant you go to. The one thing that separates In N Out from the other burger joints is the quality of their burgers. They're so dang good. :smile:

Episode 1 - A Traditional Afghani Wedding

I participated in a wedding. I actually had fun. It was torture editing this video simply because I’ve never really used iMovie before and it’s been quite some time since I edited anything.

NOTE: This was posted to my other blog (Shavonne) a couple of weeks ago. Blip.tv does not offer posting to blogger so I have to use my YouTube account to post my video.

What About Our Daughters vs. BET

There's been some controversy over BET's new show "Hot Ghetto Mess". A fellow blogger from What About Our Daughters took a stance against the show by targeting companies that advertised during the show's premier and it worked. Sort of.

I'm no fan of BET. In fact, even if I were able to watch the network, I still wouldn't have been willing to watch the show just to find out which advertisers to boycott. It isn't just about "Hot Ghetto Mess". This is about all of the inappropriate, unoriginal programming aired by BET for the last decade!

I will continue to do with BET what I've done with Ebony and Essence magazines-I will continue to deny them my money and my time.

The Duggars

The Duggars are due to have their 17th baby! Wow! I've watched a couple of documentaries about this family on Discovery channel and I'm total in awe of how many children are in this family. The Duggars make it look so easy. And the children look so happy!

(I've written about this family before, but the blog post was lost in cyber space somewhere.)

My mom is one of six children. If you went by her upbringing, you'd think the more children one had, the poorer and unhappy they'd be. My mom wasn't one to make motherhood look appealing either. I guess when you're doing it at a young age with no help, it can be a rather unpleasant experience.

Call me old fashioned, but I'd take the Duggar way over my family's way anyday.

KAIA early in the morning

IMG_1581.JPG,
originally uploaded by Shavonne.

Since I've managed to get the blog this feature of flickr working, I'll be posting a picture with every post. I took this at KAIA which is at Kabul International Airport. This picture doesn't do the view any justice. The mountains were 100 times bigger in person. My camera, which I still love dearly, just can't capture the moment like my eyes.

If you can't tell, it was bitterly cold the day I took this pic. It was taken back in December '06. I don't think I've ever experienced cold like I have in Afghanistan.

Toilet brush usage

IMG_1574.JPG,
originally uploaded by Shavonne.

This picture is displayed in the bathrooms at KAIA. Apparently someone has tried to use the toilet brush for more than just cleaning the toilet. :smile:

Stream of Conscience Post

I'm selfish or so I was told by a co-worker. His exact words were "You
don't want to have kids because you're selfish."

Let me explain the conversation at work. I mentioned that I don't
date men with children because at this point in my life, I'm not sure
I want kids. So why bother myself with somebody else's. Makes sense
right?

Well, I'm still selfish according to this man. Working Mom isn't an
appealing title. It sounds funny when I hear women at work say, "I
can't wait for daycare to potty train Junior. I'm sick of changing
diapers." However, I've seen the life of a woman relying on welfare
to help take care of her kids. That's an even more unbelievably
unattractive alternative for having a kid at this point in my life.
But remember I'm selfish because I don't want to do things the hard
way.

On another note, reading the blogs of other black females has got me
thinking about the Black Diaspora. I've noticed they group all Blacks
in the same group without acknowledging cultural differences. There
are cultural differences between Black Americans and an Africans.
There are cultural differences amongst Africans themselves depending
on what country they're in or the ethnic group they belong to. The
same goes for Black Americans. So why is there this constant need to
group us all in one category? Different people with different values
will have different goals and skin color alone isn't enough to unify.

This is where I think my selfishness really shows. I think I'm better
off focusing on bettering myself than trying to change the world.

I hate bootleg movies. They usually aren't worth the money. I'm one
of those people who not only want to see a good movie but have a good
viewing experience. Bootleg movies don't provide both. For example,
the first time I saw Pirates of the Caribbean, I thought it was
terrible because the picture and sound was greatly distorted. It
wasn't until I viewed a legit copy of the movie that I fully
appreciated it.

Heroes has become my second most favorite show with Buffy the Vampire
Slayer being the first. I so wish I had my Buffy DVDs here. I'd be
having myself a kick-ass time!

I signed up for a video blog at blip.tv. I will use it eventually. I
think I like it better than YouTube. Blip.tv has an interface that's
easier to understand.

I lost 8 pounds! I'm around 113 pounds now! And I don't exercise
much. I'm on the Supreme diet. Basically, the food in the chow hall
is so terrible, I don't eat it. It doen't help that I've had trouble
digesting just about everything I put in my mouth and I had two bouts
of diarrhea which lasted for about three weeks.

I can't stop biting my nails. I bite them to the point they bleed. I
hope I can break this when I get home.

I'm not looking forward to going home. There's nothing there for me.
I want to leave Afghanistan but I don't want to go back to Lancaster.

I still want to cut my hair.

--
Shavonne

Afghanistan

I haven't blogged in a while. In fact, I haven't felt much like
surfing the net. I spend maybe 20 minutes a week on my computer.
Most of the time I'm reading or listening to music. Oh and catching
up on Desperate Housewives. I also watched the last season of Lost
and 4400 and Grey's Anatomy.

Yes, yes, I've devoted a lot of time to television. But it's really
not a lot because I still spend more time a week reading and doing
other thing totally unrelated to TV like working. Ha!

I doubt I will continue to watch a lot of tv when I get home simply
because I'll be going back to school. I've got some catching up to
do. I'm so behind.

Good news, I'm completely debt free. I'm out of the whole and into
the plus. It feels so good. That's just about the only good thing
that came out of this deployment. I'm going to send the money that
used to go to pay off my debts straight into savings. My goal is to
put $1000 away every month. That should be easy since my car and my
credit card is paid off.

I won't be buying another car anytime soon. I've been looking at
different places to live in the country and what I'm looking for is
someplace that doesn't require a car. The top city on my list is
Bethesda, Maryland. I blogged about it before but I really, really
want to live there. I won't have worry about a car because the
neighborhood I'm looking at is few minutes walk from the subway to
D.C. No car required. :smile: I think this would be great for
maintaining an active lifestyle. I do think I will get a better bike.

I don't think I blogged about this before, but when I visited my
cousin back in October. we went on a bike tour through D.C. It was
awesome! Really enjoyed it. I took pictures by the way. I didn't
get to take that many because my camera died but I had a blast.
Maryland/Virginia have some great parks to hike/bike through.

I'm going to buy myself a new toy. I've been shopping around and I
found two digital SLR cameras that I'm seriously thinking of buying.
My choices are the <a
href="http://www.letsgodigital.org/en/11433/canon_eos400d_review/">
Canon EOS 400D Rebel XTi </a> and the <a
href="http://www.letsgodigital.org/en/9420/nikon_d80_review/">Nikon
D80</a>. The Nikon got better reviews. My main concerns are the
quality of the picture and ease of use. I've also considered the <a
href="http://www.letsgodigital.org/en/news/articles/story_6913.html">Nikon
D200</a> though I find it a bit on the pricey side. I'm leaning more
towards the Nikon D80.

I have a bit more to blog about but I will save it for tomorrow.
--
Shavonne

Star and Crescent

Here is the star and crescent. My camera didn't do this any justice but it's the best I've got. Everyone was talking about it today.

Happy Post Father's Day

I know my previous entry was indeed on the wack side, but my emotions
were in a better place than my Mother's Day post. I don't know what
it is about my Dad, but it really is comforting and easy to talk to
him.

He and I chatted for over an hour about his ranch and about being in
Afghanistan. (He's retired Air Force and did a 4-month tour to
Afghanistan before retiring.) He has twelve goats but no chickens.
His girlfriend doesn't like chickens. When he was in Afghanistan, he
lived on an American base and he spoke of the good food he ate daily.
I'm on an coalition base where we are served European food everyday.
There's a reason why Europeans aren't fat-their food isn't as good.
I've actually lost weight!

I know this is going to seem really random, but I saw the most amazing
crescent tonight. And there was a star with it!! It was so Islam. A
star and crescent. I took a picture but my camera won't do the sight
justice. It got me thinking about how the environment can influence
the beliefs of people. I'm not saying I want to convert to Islam but
I can say I got it. I can see why Muslims use the star and crescent as
symbols of Islam. It was a sight I've never seen before and I LOVE
staring at the moon. I wonder if that star and crescent is something
you can only see when in this part of the world because I've never
seen it in America. I don't have the time now but I will post that
picture of the moon so you can sort of see what I am talking about.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day! Just wanted to say that. Got to tallk to my dad now.

--
Shavonne

Why I left the Army in the first place

I had to attend some meeting today. I had no idea what it was about,
I was just told by the SGM in my office I had to attend.

I can honestly tell you I could have spent that time in the office
working. The person I had to hear speak only repeated the same shit I
heard the first 4 years I was in Army:

1. Here's some shit and you're gonna like it (unless of course, you're
an officer).
2. Suck it up and drive on.
3. If you're efficient, then you won't get the help or equipment to do
your job even better.

This person went on to talk about how bad things were a few years ago
when coalition forces came in and swept out the Taliban. That's
great. I'm glad that some people like to dwell on the past. However,
the problems that troops are dealing with now are not the same as a
few years back.

One of our biggest problems is housing all the people that don't seem
to have jobs. Here's a suggestion-find them a job or send them home.
Simple enough right? One person at the meeting complained about how
the officers (LtCol and above) seem to do the most bitching about the
housing situation. They have to share rooms but they want really nice
rooms by themselves with new furniture. They are getting ticked off
because all that new furniture and spacious dwellings aren't being
funded by headquarters.

For some odd reason, the officers have been the last to catch on that
we are in a combat zone. Where did all this sense of entitlement come
from? The military. That's all we do is cater to what the officers
want. If we stopped treating them like their shit don't stink and
treat them like everyone else we wouldn't have this problem. But the
military is still in the stone age and refuses to get rid of their
caste system.

One of our computer experts complained that the help desk is down one
man and there won't be a replacement because headquarters got rid of
the position. He also mentioned how there will be a dramatic increase
in workstations. Sounds like a dilemma. There will be more work but
less people to do it. I wanted to tell the guy that if he wanted a
bigger staff then his department needed to stop being so efficient.
Screw up. Blame it on fatigue. The Army only understands that
something is wrong when there's a problem. It's an institution that
doesn't comprehend the need to foresee potential problems to enact
preventive measures to avoid those potential problems. The preferred
method is to wait until there is a problem and try to do a quick
fix-like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound. Makes sense right?

I can't speak for anyone else in the Army, but I'm tired of getting
fed the suck it up and drive on line. I think it's one of the reasons
why the Army didn't recognize mental illness. Sometimes you just
can't suck it up and drive on! Sometimes you just need help!
Especially if you working long hours/weeks with no rest or relaxation
for-I don't know-15 months! As it stands, I get one day a week off if
I'm lucky. I get tomorrow morning off but it will be my last time off
for the next 3 weeks. Did I mention the equipment I used to do my job
isn't working properly? It's going to be great. I totally see a
nervous breakdown in my future. But hey, it's shit and I have no
choice but to like it.

--
Shavonne

Total Meltdown

I don't think my coworkers at my civilian job has ever seen me lose my
cool or go into mega bitch mode. I mean if they did, they wouldn't be
so great at sending me care packages with dried craisins. :wink: Nor
do I ever remember the anger and frustration I'm feeling right now
when I was at my civilian job.

I've had the worst day. The equipment I used to perform the miserable
job the Army has me doing completely failed Thursday. The help desk
as not been able to get it working the way it used to. I will be able
to get things done, it will just take me a lot longer.

Besides taking longer to do my job, I have to train civilians how do
use the unimproved equipment. I'm just going to say this, but the
guys I work with have absolutely no computer skills. None. Zero.
Zilch. And they're lazy. There is always something that needs to get
done. They never look around to see if there is something they can
get done. Nope, they just sit on their asses.

Like today, a document was open on computer #1. I told one guy to
print it out on a different computer. So he tries to open the doc on
computer #2 and he got the read-only warning. He says to me, "It's a
read only file. I can't print this." Then I told him he could still
print a read-only file. Then he says he couldn't do it because he
didn't know how and then he got up and left.

HE GOT UP AND LEFT because he couldn't figure out how to print a
read-only file!!!!!!!!

You basically open the damn file up and you hit the little printer
icon in Word. Or you can go through the file menu and print the
document that way. Or control P.

I hate to say this, but I would never, ever hire ex-military for a
job. Never. And I'm ex-military. I see too much incompetence in the
leadership and their job skills it's not even funny. The civilians I
work with are all ex-military and it shows.

I want to leave but I know they won't let me. I'm too efficient in
the office. It's like being good is a bad thing. I bet if I were lazy
they'd get rid of me in a heartbeat. Reward the lazy people by
getting rid of them and punish the good ones for showing some effort
and being good at what they do.

I need to learn Microsoft Access.

Not leaving anytime soon

I went to the national support element to inquire about a departure
date for myself and the person there told me I could leave as long as
who ever I report to gave the okay. I was really happy to hear that.

Then at lunch I sat with the colonel in charge of the branch I work
for and he had nothing but good things to say about my work in the
office. Then he started talking about a promotion and sending me to
the board. Not sure if I want to do that. I hate filling my head
with what will be useless information once I'm done with my
committment. He also mentioned extending. I extended once, I'm not
doing it again. I want to go home and eat cheeseburgers with American
cheese and go to all-you-can-eat sushi.

--
Shavonne

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to those who are mothers. I'm not a mother, so
don't even think about wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.

I had a lousy day at work. Everyday is usually lousy but today was
especially lousy. I don't want to get too deep into it, but let's just
say customer service is a pretty sucky career field. My civillian job
is customer-service based, but my customers don't make me want to
blast their heads off with a semi-automatic weapon, ya know what I
mean? Geez.

I've been trying to call my mom but haven't had any luck. I wish she
would learn to use Skype. We would talk more often if she did. The
telephone thing is really starting to annoy me. I hate calling only
to get voice mail. It's really hard to tell when she's home.

Well, I'm done bitching. Have a good day.

--
Shavonne

Friday

Today was my day off. I didn't do much. I watched a movie called Big
Night starring Stanley Tucci and then by mistake I took a nap.

I hate naps and generally take them when I'm sick, but sit me on my
bed and give me a reason to close my eyes (I hate the lights in my
room) and I'm out for the count.

I went looking through my pictures on flickr and changed my viewing
permissions because my cousin complained that I haven't posted in
pictures in months. It's not that I didn't have any pictures, she
just couldn't see them. I wanted to go through the pictures to get
rid of the one's I didn't like before I allowed anyone to view them.

I missed my 6 p.m. meeting. It dawned on me that I had someplace to
be at around 7:15 p.m. and by that time after almost putting on my
uniform, I decided I didn't have anything to add to help alleviate the
situation at work. The temporary workers have expired passes and
there really isn't anything to do about it. There was a better system
already in place to deal with the issue, but a LtCol decided it was no
good so now we're stuck with a shitty system. Did they ask me what I
thought then? No. So why is my opinion so important now?

It doesn't matter anyway. I don't think I was going to go even if I
had remembered to go. When I take off my uniform, it's off until I
have to put it on the next morning.

--
Shavonne

Short men and their tall tempers

I have this policy-never date short men. Seriously. I dated a short
guy I worked in the same building with last year and he had a temper.
He acted like just because he bought me a meal, I should be happy to
choke on his tongue.

I was supposed to watch a movie with this other short guy a couple of
days ago but had to cancel. I came down with another cold and I didn't
feel like coughing and sneezing snot rockets across the room while we
watched a movie. So I thought the sensible thing to do would be to
cancel and schedule for another day. Well, it seems shorty took
offense to me getting sick. He probably thinks I blew him off
purposefully. But I didn't. I was really sick. Oh well, tis better to
end it now that to wait until later. I don't want to have a
psychopathic, vertically-challenged stalker on my hands. That would
suck.

I really need to spend my time trying to figure out how I'm going to
raise the money to buy this condo I want. I want this condo so bad, I
have trouble sleeping at night.

--
Shavonne

The Chase at Bethesda

When I was in Maryland back in October, my cousin and I went walking
through a neighborhood in Bethesda. I have to tell you, it was
everything I wanted in my future residence. There were many
restaurants, shops, and a descent night life. I also discovered they
were building condos there. The perfect place for me to live - <a
href= "http://thechaseatbethesda.com/default.asp">The Chase at
Bethesda</a>.

The only thing keeping me from my dream is my lack of money. This is
what bothers me the most, if the average salary is $40,000, how are
people able to afford to buy house? The houseing market has slowed a
bit, but not to the point where I could afford to by anything. I have
options and I'm seriously considering them. I can't act on them until
I leave Afghanistan though. Four more months (hopefully).

--
Shavonne

Never can say goodbye and powdered goat's milk

I'm terrible at saying goodbye. I will do just about anything to
avoid saying it. The last time I said goodbye to someone, I almost
cried. I considered this person a good friend. We had lots of great
conversations about everything under the sun. Our discussions would
get so heated, we'd sometimes leave each other pissed off. But we
would make up and everything would be normal. Now he's gone because
of some bullshit. I hope he's okay. He has a chain of command to
answer to so getting in trouble in Afghanistan has it's repercussions.

I said bye to someone in an email. I could just as easily go to his
room and say bye but I won't. I don't want to feel like a stalker.
Plus, time probably won't permit me to give a proper goodbye anyway.

My cousin sent me some powered goat's milk. It has a funny taste to
it when it goes down initially but afterwards it takes like regular
milk. So basically the after taste is much better. It's much easier
to drink by itself than soy milk. Soy milk is only tolerable after
some cereal has soaked in it. Gosh, I hate being lactose intolerant.
I think I might try the powered skim milk next just to see how my body
reacts to it.

I tried my web camera for the first time! It's amazing. I wish I
could get my mom up to speed with cyber chatting. I need to find
someone with iChat. Skype is kinda slow and there's a terrible delay
but I can't complain because it's free.

--
Shavonne

Stormy Weather

It's thundering and lightning right now.  I really, really think days like this are romantic. This is the first day in a long time I wish I had a boyfriend to snuggle with. 

I got a text message from someone today.  It was sweet that he was thinking about me.  I tried to send him a text but I'm completely useless when it comes to mobile phones.  I hate them with a passion. I'm much better with computers.

My day went by pretty quick. I just wish the next year goes by even faster. 

I went to a barbeque last night.  There was great food as usual.  The Italians really know how to cook animal flesh.  I don't think my body can digest alcohol, though.  As soon as I took a sip of some white wine I felt the need to throw up.  There's another party next week. I can't wait to go. Last night's BBQ and the one before were the best meals I've had since I've been in Afghanistan.

I'm totally depressed about my friend's reenlistment in the Army. I was hoping she would get out but I know it was the money that tempted her to stay in. I wanted to ask her if she did it for the money or if she was aware that she wouldn't get called back in if the got out since she reenlisted back in 2005.  Her first reenlistment should have nulled her original contract with a 4 year IRR obligation. 

That's it for now.  I think I'm going to spend the next couple of days reading over that JANOWRIMO book I started writing at the beginning of last year.  Maybe I can salvage some of it or continue with it.  I don't know. I just need to get cracking on some creative writing. 

--
Shavonne

My future hairdo

I've been seriously considering cutting my hair. I went searching the
net last night for short haircuts I thought would be flattering and I
came across a picture of Halle Berry.

I think I have the right facial structure to pull off this hairdo. Or
maybe not. I'm just tired of wearing my hair pulled back when I don't
have time to do it. Actually I'm tired of refraining from doing
things simply because I don't want to sweat out my hair or mess up my
hair. You know there are lots of black women who don't know how to
swim simply because they didn't want to mess up their hair? It's one
of the reasons why I live in a dry climate and not a humid one. When I
get my hair done, I don't want to mess up my hair.

A male (and black) co-worker said having my hair that short would make
me look older. He thinks Halle Berry looks younger now with long hair
than she did all those years she wore her hair short. I think he just
likes long hair. Any man who likes long hair, well, he should just
get himself a white girl, or Asian, or Latina. I just can't deal with
long hair anymore. I want a man that wants me to feel comfortable
with myself.

I sent an email to my cousin Vic and of course she thinks the cut will
look great on me. I knew she would though. She's all about breaking
those black woman mantras going around. My cousin Vic cut her hair
not too long ago and has no regrets. I don't think I will have any
regrets because right now, I wear my hair in bun everyday and it takes
two hours to comb it out when I wash it. Cutting my hair short would
give more time to do other things.
--
Shavonne

Worst trip to the beauty salon ever

I knew I would have a bad hair day when I was told the Russian girl
wasn't coming back, but I decided to give the new girl a try anyway.

Now, I only use Kera Care products in my hair because I have a
sensitive scalp and other products, especially grease, will cause my a
breakout along my hair line and a flaky scalp. I always bring my own
shampoo/conditioner when I go to a salon that doesn't carry products I
normally use in my hair. The beautician washed my hair adequately,
considering she had long acrylic nails and she put a ton of leave
conditioner in my hair (which is fine because the climate is really
dry) but when it came to blow drying, she hasn't got a clue. She
started spraying a ton of oil sheen in my hair. I was a little
bothered by that but I let it slide. Then she started blow drying my
hair and the heat from the blow dryer combined with the oil sheen
created a smoky atmosphere, which set off the fire alarm. TWICE. The
first time it went off people were walking past the shop and looking
in and workers from the other shops were mouthing at us to stop
whatever we were doing because the alarm was loud. Then the fire
department came running in the building looking for a fire that didn't
exist. (By the way, the firemen were HOT!)

When the alarm went off the second time, the Firemen decided to shut
off the alarm system. They told manager of the salon to call
whenever she was done with my hair. You have no idea how embarrassing
it was. Everybody knows who I am because they have to come through
where I work. I will now be known as the American chick who's hair
set off the fire alarms in the Milano. TWICE!

--
Shavonne

Skype and thoughts on being a Wino

I've been using Skype since I lived in Korea and I think it's great.
The only problem is I can't stand the perverts that skype me all the
time. I think I should change my photo on skype.

I went to a party last night and the night before last. I drank a
little bit. Apparently wine is supposed to be sipped. According to a
few people there, someone who drinks their wine really fast is a
drunk. Well, let me set the record straight, I only drink my wine so
fast because I don't like having anything in my hand. My hands should
be free at all times. That makes sense right?

Does anyone know the fastest way to kill a cat in heat besides
shooting it with an M-16? The darn things have been f^cking outside my
window for the last two nights and I'm sick of it.

--
Shavonne

Relationships

I've been thinking a lot lately about being single and how it's really
the only status I'm comfortable with. The guys I dated in the past
really didn't add to my personal happiness and they weren't fun to be
with at all.

Then I got to thinking about the men I've met whose company I really
enjoyed. We never really dated. We were just friends and I felt so
comfortable with them. Unfortunately, we would always be in some kind
of transition like a departure or a career change that sent us in
entirely different directions. Those were always the guys that made me
think, could he have been the one?

I don't know. I get so tired of wondering about the what ifs, ya know?
Sometimes I wish I were male. They seem to have all the time in the
world to just BE while women get stuck with biological clocks ticking
away at our youth.

I told one of my male friends that if I don't get married or have
children, it would be okay. It isn't meant to be. It almost feels like
that's the way it's supposed to be.

--
Shavonne

Stress

I've been under a lot of stress lately. A few civilian co-workers
left/got fired and went back to England. I'm having to train new
civilians while trying to do a job I despise with all the fiber of my
being.

I'm pretty much suffering from all the ailments I suffered from during
those four years of hell. Heartburn, constipation, fatigue, body
aches, migraines, cough, swollen feet, and the list goes on and on.
September couldn't get here fast enough.

I have a few things to bitch about but I'm going to save them for
later. I'm tired and hungry and I want to get to sleep before my
roommate gets back.

--
Shavonne

I signed up with Facebook

I have a myspace account but I absolutely hate myspace because I find it difficult to navigate the interface. I also hate message boards. I'm a blogger danggit! What use do I have for myspace?

I've met some folks who use Facebook. So, in order to keep in touch with them, I opened a Facebook account.  Doubt I'll use Facebook because I think it's boring. Did I mention I hate message boards?

I hung out for a hot second with this guy I think would be perfect for my cousin. You know that saying, if you can't have 'em for yourself, give 'em to someone you like ?  Or is that really a saying? It would comfort me a great deal if someone I liked was rubbing on those beautiful man muscles.

I've come to the realization that I'm a slut magnet. Yep, it's true.  I'm a slut magnet. Not only that, but I laughed at someone because his last name is Stinkeoway (Stink-o-Way).  And I'm still laughing!  LOL!  I tried my harddest not to laugh. And at first I didn't think anything of it because I thought it was pronounced Stin-Kow-ay and then I thought Well maybe it's Stink-o-way. No it couldn't be.  Then I asked him how he pronouced his name and once it said it I started laughing. That's bad.  He was attractive, too.

Well, I have to go.




--
Shavonne