Dreaming of Korea

I had a dream I went back to Korea for a photography job. I met up with a flickr friend of mine (who was writing a story for his newspaper) and we took a trip to back to Uijeongbu which is north of Seoul. We rode in a blue van. On the way to Uijeongbu, we took a detour off of highway 1 into a very green valley. In this green valley was what seemed like the entire Korean Army. There were missiles and bombs everywhere. The van stopped and so a my flickr friend and I decided to get out and mingle with the Korean soldiers to find out what was going on. I came across Korean soldiers wearing tan uniforms that had very white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. If it wasn't for their features, their somewhat round faces, typical almond shaped eyes, I would have mistaken them for white men. I asked them if they wouldn't mind if I took pictures of them and they allowed me to.

After we left the camp we drove through some mountains on a windy road and stopped just before we disappeared around a bend overlooking the valley and the Korean Army. I got out of the van and took a couple of pictures and came across single family homes. They looked like the very homes they are building all around the Antelope Valley in California. The neighborhood was quite exept for a young boy practicing his soccer moves. My friend and I got out of the van and walked over to one of the houses and looked inside. The house was empty. I turned around to take a picture of the row of houses. I then tried to take a picture of the boy. He looked me and scowled and kicked his soccar ball voilently in my direction and the ball went so high up in the sky it looked like it disappeared into the heavens. But the ball came back to earth and bounced into the backyard of the house I was standing in front of.

Then I decided to leave and when I went back to the van it was already running and it was parked in the middle of the street. In front of the van, was another vehicle with a Korean man in the driver's seat. He was smoking a cigarette and looking out his rear view mirror at me. He was staring at me and when I made eye contact with him, he frowned and threw his cigarette into the street.

I got into the van and drove down the hill to a busy street. I stopped at a red light and all the Koreans in their cars we looking at me and frowning at me and pointing their fingers. I was so scared.

Then I woke up. It wasn't the best dream. What bothered me the most about the dream was how large the Army was and that they had soldiers that could have almost passed for white men. On top of that all the bombs and missiles. And then the hatred I felt when they looked at me. I hope this isn't a dream something bad is going to happen over there.

My Word Bank

I got an idea to create a word bank (look to the right under my profile pic) for my JaNoWriMo project from a newsletter I received from Writopia. During the next month, I will be posting a word count for the days I write. Hopefully I will resist the urge to blog and surf the blogosphere. If I find myself surfing and not writing, well then I will only post a word count once a week. On highly productive days, I will reward myself by visiting my favorite blogs, checking my email, and stuffing my face.

For those of you with a book that needs finishing, you should give JaNoWriMo a try. Even if you don't make the 50,000 words by January 31, you'd still be much closer to finish than by not participating. Plus, I could use the company.

JaNoWriMo

I only have two more days until I start writing my novel. I still haven't outlined it. I'm screwed. This makes me wonder how professional writers keep turning out books year after year. Do they outline at all or do they just sit at the computer typing whatever story comes to mind?

I've been meaning to sit at the dining room table and just type until my fingers ache. Unfortunately, I know I wouldn't get anything done. I'm too easily distracted. I've tried writing in coffee shops and libraries, but I'm not able to stay focused.

As far as outlining goes, I've come up with a ton of ideas when I have no pen or paper or computer to jot them down.

This reminds me of the time I had to write a screenplay for my screenwriting class. I couldn't for the life of me get anything done when I sat at my computer to type. But let me be in my other classes or at work and the characters, scenes, etc would start coming to life in my head. I wrote most of that screenplay in my American History class. I got 20 pages of a screenplay out of the way one day. I really impressed the instructor because he thought I was feverishly taking notes.

I figure with about three hours of hard core writing after work and 4 to 8 hours of writing on the weekends I should be able to get 50,000 words by January 31. I can do it. It's only about 1,700 words a day. I can do that. A piece of cake. I can do it.

My Birthday

In 1 hour and 30 minutes, my birthday will be over.

This morning I woke up and went to the grocery store to buy some stuff for the oyster dressing. I spend three hours making the dressing. After that, I did nothing exept watch tv. One of my favorite movies came on (Pleasantville). And that's it. That's what my birthday was like.

I don't celebrate my birthday because no one remembers it. I barely remember it. Sad huh?

Merry Christmas!

I'm Lazy Okay

I go through periods where I like to change up my normal routine. That's why I neglected my blog for a week.

I actually had some great stuff to blog about. Like last Thursday, I went out with Dilbert. It was an okay date. I managed to avoid choking on his tongue. Ha ha ha.

We went to a Japanese restaurant. I love Japanese food, especially sushi. In fact, I prefer the sushi bar. I even told Dilbert this on our first date which was at a different and much better Japanese restaurant.

Dilbert doesn't like sushi, so of course he thought this restaurant was the shiz-nitz because it lacked a sushi bar.

The food was actually good. I ordered some kind of combo meal with teriyaki beef and chicken, shrimp and vegetable tempura, three pieces of sushi (2 tuna, 1 halibut), and three pieces of tuna sashimi.

After the meal we decided to skip the movie we had planned on seeing so he drove me home. We sat in his car listening to the radio. It was kind of awkward. Dilbert suggested I talk to him so I started talking about all the construction going on in the neighborhood. Dilbert interupts me mid-sentence with a really bad joke and started giggling like a bitch. When he was done I continued where I left off and he interupted me again with another joke and more bitch giggles. What the...? I tried to continue talking but apparently what I had say wasn't interesting or important-I don't know. I just thought it was annoying so I stopped talking and just sat there. After sitting there for another two minutes I told him I needed to sleep.

Dilbert moved his face within inches of mine and asked me for a kiss. I asked him if it was okay if I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He said, "Sure." *exhale*

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and he ruined it. RUINED IT!!!!!!!! He just had to sneak a kiss on my cheek. I didn't want his lips touching me.

Why Venting is Good for Ya

After having my bitch fit, I found that computer software. I'd tell you where I hid it, but of course the person that stole my laptop probably reads my blog. I had it bookmarked in MY FAVORITES on the Sony. Isn't that peachy?

Now, lets get to my lovelife. It's nonexistent. I am, however, suppose to go out with Dilbert tomorrow night. I think I will pay this time. I don't feel like choking on his tongue.

In the past, I was usually the one that paid for the entire date when I went out with a guy. I know I'm shaking my head too. You'd think a guy would pay if he was the one that asked.

I didn't mind though. It put me in control of how the date was going to end. "You've got to be kidding. I know you don't think you're gonna to get some nookie?"

Which brings me to Dilbert. After our first date, I kissed him because I felt obligated. He did treat me to a wonderful Japanese dinner. And he really wanted to kiss me. I, of course, just wanted to give him a hug and send him on his way.

Why do some guys think they're entitled to desert and why do some females feel obligated to give it?

Sex is completely out of the question. I'm celibate. No sex for me. In fact, that's why I don't shave my legs or my arm pits, and sometimes my bush (though I have to trim that ever so often). Guaranteed man repellent.

Here's an interesting fact, hairy people have more testosterone, and testosterone is what controls sex drive. So the hairier the person, the hornier they are. Hairy=Horny.

It's That Time of Year. Burglaries Are on the Rise

Someone that works in my department told me 11 houses in her neighborhood had been broken into in the last month, including hers.

Boy am I paranoid. I've paranoid since January when it happened to me. I keep going over and over in my head how I could have done things differently. Like:

1. I shouldn't have been so comfortable in my own home.
2. I shouldn't have left my laptop out where it could be seen.
3. I should have put all of my music cds in their cases instead of leaving them in the 200-capacity leather cd cases. Those cases made it so easy for the thieves to walk away with a 15-year collection of music. That's about 300 cds folks. And they only took two of my leather cases.
4. I should have kept my digital camcorder in the box downstairs. (I had just gotten back from 18 month tour in Korea and hadn't had the chance to unpack.)
5. I should have archived the pics/files on my harddrive and stored the mini dv tapes with footage of my grandmother when she was alive, someplace other than in the camcorder bag.

But it's not the material things they took that disturbs me so. It's fact that someone I don't know invited themselves into a my place. They went through my underwear drawer, they went through hundreds of photographs of me and my friends and family. They know my name, what I look like, they know what movies I like, what kind of clothes I wear and I know NOTHING about them. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

And because of this, I stressing over where I hid some really expensive software. That's what I do now. I hide things. I hide things and I forget where I put them. I wish I had emailed myself about these hiding places. Because they're really good hiding places. I can't find them because I can't remember where they are. I can't find things because I hide them and I can't remember where I hide them because I'm stressed out over the fact that I can't live comfortably in my own home. Urgh!!!!!!!!!

January Novel Writing Month (JaNoWriMo)

I don't have much time before January. I still haven't outlined my novel. I actually haven't thought much about it. 50,000 words. I can do it. I just have to refrain from hopping on the internet and doing things that keep me from actually writing.

Okay, I'm very intimidated about the 50,000 words. I can't find the motivation to write 100 words for a my blog. That's one reason why I don't post everyday. The sad thing is, I actually have stuff to blog about. I'm just to busy reading other blogs that I end up not writing in my own.

Which reminds me of this dream I had where this serial killer was trying to kill me. He was dresssed in black and wore a mask. If I'm not mistaken, it was the same serial killer that was in that show Nip Tuck that went around slicing on women's faces. Now the strange thing is, I somehow turned out to be pursuing the serial killer. I chased him into this neighborhood of cookie cutter houses. The houses were really colorful. The serial killer ran across the lawn of a corner house and dropped his wallet. I pick up the wallet and looked inside. He had three different forms of identification: a driver's license, a student i.d. card, and something else (sorry, I can't remember). He also had two winning lottery tickets. The only thing I can remember about the lottery tickets is that the numbers all had fives in them; 15, 25, 35, 45, 50, 65.....

Now my coworkers thought it was strange that I was not disturbed by the fact that I had a dream about a serial killer trying to kill me and that I was more excited about the lottery numbers. I think it's strange too especially since I've been paranoid of stalkers for the last year.

I've written before that I will probably write a thriller about a burglar that becomes obsessed about a women he stole from. After my home was burglarized back in January, I had an awful dream about someone stalking me. The thieves stole my laptop that had all my pictures, music, blog entries, screenplays, and short stories stored on it. I mean my laptop had everything that was important to and about me on it, including a picture of my ass!!!! (Oh please don't let that picture turn up on the web.)

50,000 words. I can do it.

Harry Potter Saved Me from the Sounds a Tongue Thrusher

I absolutely hate being in the presence of a tongue thrusher when they are eating. They eat with their mouths open, which means that not only can you see their food, but their lip smacking is unbearably loud.

My mother is a tongue thrusher. I will usually leave the room if there's no background noise to cover the sound of her lip smacking but luckily Harry Potter was on tv tonight so I had a distraction.

I Was Wrong

Nik didn't win. Congrats Nicole. I knew Nicole won before they even said her name. She had that cover girl look. So did Nik, but Nicole's look was a little more.

I've been trying to post comments but I'm unable to. I hate that. When I click on post a comment, I should be able to post a comment. Darn blogger.

I've been thinking about my book I'm going to write next month. I thought about writing a thriller about a burglar who becomes obsessed with a women he stole from. Or I could write a memoir about myself. I'm leaning toward the thriller. A memoir about my life doesn't interest even me. Besides, that's what my blog is for and, as you can see, I don't have much going on. What do you think?

---------UPDATE---------
I finally figured out what was wrong with blogger. My blog needed me to post something before leaving my mark in the comments section of other blogs.

The Things Men Go Through For a Piece of Arse

I read an article in one of those stupid gossip magazines about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's trip to Washington D.C. There was nothing particularly interesting about it. I only read it because I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Brad toting one of the kids. He's so hot when he has a child in his arms. There was a picture of him sitting with congressmen. Apparently, Brad is some kind of ambassador for something called D.A.T.A.

Brad's skin was really pale and he had the biggest, reddest bags under his eyes. Hardly the hunk of burning love I'm used to seeing.

Angelina, on the other hand, looked radiant in the pictures that accompanied the article. (I have to give major compliments on her 4 1/2 inch, tan, leather pumps. They were to die for.)

I generally don't like to talk about celebrities in my blog because for one, it's called Shavonne's World, and two, I don't like to give them free publicity. But Brad looked like poo.

Which leads me to why I'm writing this. Did Brad's interest in ending world hunger and poverty something he's always wanted to do or is it a way for him to get in Angelina's good graces? Just how far is a man willing to go to get a piece of Angelina's arse?

Bad Habits Revisited

I've started biting my nails again. Three of my ten nails are completely bitten down to the nail bed. I've managed to keep nibbling on just those three but it's getting increasingly difficult to keep from biting the rest.

It would have been a year since I quit biting my nails but the holidays are really stressing me out. I can't seem to avoid it. Everyone expects me to be happy about it and to participate in Christmas activities. I'm bombarded with it at work, when I come home, etc. I'm so stinking tired of it. I so wish I had made plans to take a trip somewhere outside the U.S. for the entire month of December.

Next year it's on. I plan on spending the holiday season on the beaches of Brazil or someplace where I won't have to hear people bitch about Christmas Trees, Festivus Poles, and the Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holiday bullshit. F@ck Christmas!!!

Movies

I went to see Rent and the new Harry Potter movie yesterday. I don't know what to think about Rent. There was a whole lot of AIDS, intravenous drugs, and homosexual stuff. I wasn't expecting it at all. I thought it was going to be a movie about people bitching about the cost of living. Well, I guess it was a movie about bitching about the cost of living-with AIDS. Maybe I should go see it again. Sometimes I don't absord a movie's implicit meaning the first time I see it.

As for Harry Potter, I didn't like it as much as the first movie. Of course, I'm not the biggest Harry Potter fan. In fact, I've avoided reading the books and watching the movies because of the kid factor. I'm not very good with kids. I wasn't good with kids when I was a kid. Nonetheless, I had to see what the hype was all about. I mean I knew people that were skipping work and taking their kids out of school just to see the movie opening day. I've never gone as far as skipping work for a movie or taking my kids out of school, because, you know, I don't have kids, but I have rushed to the movies after work just to see a movie.

It was Serenity. A movie had been dying to see for the longest time because I'm a huge Joss Whedon fan. I discovered the characters from the show Firefly. A fellow blogger, a huge fan of Buffy, bought the Firefly series and gave it rave reviews.

I was hoping the movie would spark a new interest in Firefly. But I guess not. Too bad Joss wasn't able to sell the show to Sci-Fi. It would be great to see some of the best characters brought back to life on the small screen.

There's Great News

One of my favorite books has been turned into a movie. Actually two of my favorite books have been turned into movies this holiday season, Memoirs of a Geisha and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I am so excited! And also, I've discovered Nanowrimo, which I totally plan on doing come November 2006. I'll have over a year to start outlining my novel. I have absolutely no idea what it's going to be about, but I'll have an entire year to think about it. In the mean time, I'll be writing some short stories or at least finishing the one's I've started. There's no time like the present to start thinking about my goals for the 2006.

And also, Nik will win.

I Found It! I Found It! Then there was Dilbert

Yes! I found a website that has the recipes of my favorite Korean dishes. I'm so dang excited. I was about to purchase two cookbooks from amazon that probably didn't have what I was looking for.

Since I left Korea over a year ago, I've been craving Dak Galbi (spicy grilled chicken), Galbi-tang (ox spare rib soup), Neng Kook (cold seaweed soup), and Hoteoks (some kind of pancake with brown sugar). I would totally sell my mom's boyfriend's dog to get these recipes, too. The website even had the recipe for Tteok Bulgogi, a sweet soup with beef, clear noodles and rice cakes. Very, very good.

__________________
Dilbert gave me some kind of stuffed bear. It's really little and it has a hooded red velvet coat with fur on the edges. It's kind of cute.

At least he's not groping me.

Thanksgiving Turkey

My co-workers and I were rather bored, so we decided to draw turkeys using our hands as outlines for the turkey's shape. I wish I had pictures of the birds we drew, but cameras aren't allowed in the workplace.

My turkey is purple with neon pink, orange, green, blue, and yellow feathers. I would say it ranks in third place out of the five turkeys. I like my purple turkey, but I would never eat it because it's purple with neon pink, orange, green, blue, and yellow feathers.

My supervisor told us her son's daycare won't allow the children to draw turkeys. Why? Because turkeys are offensive to certain cultures and the daycare doesn't want to offend anyone. What culture could possibly be offended by turkeys drawn by small children? I mean, it's not like they're drawing the turkeys without their heads and feathers and all dressed up in with veggies and stuffing and all golden brown, tender and moist (mmmm, yummy). IT'S JUST A STUPID F@CKING BIRD!!!!!!

I just don't understand how there could be Thanksgiving without a bird.

My Phone Rang Again

Terrence called me during my lunch break. He apologized for not keeping in touch. He went on to tell me how he had a lot going on in his life blah, blah, blah. I told him we could be friends but there was no room for anything more than that. Then I heard the dial tone.

I don't know what his problem was. It's not like I told him to fuck off. I wanted to tell him that but, out of the goodness of my heart, I didn't.

The Tyra Banks Show

First, I just to say I think her show is cheezy. Whenever I watch it I'm completely and utterly bored out of my mind. But tonight, I have a different opinion.

I only caught the last twenty minutes of it, but boy did it speak to me. It was Tyra, showing a side of herself that no one would have ever guessed was there.

I related to her 100 percent. I didn't think there was anyone out there that thought way I did but there was Tyra uttering the very same words I've thought a million times in my head.

I don't see myself having a family. I see myself having kids but no husband. I find it hard to picturing my wedding because I can't imagine a groom.

My mother and her relationships have everything to do with how I feel. I don't want to be just somebody's baby's momma. Nine out of 10 times I'm the one leaving a "relationship" or telling a guy to fuck off. I would rather be single than endure the misery of a "relationship." I look for safe and comforting men but pass them up for a bad ones.

To date, my longest "relationship" lasted two weeks. I'm not joking. I will find any excuse to give a guy the boot right at that 14 day mark, and most of the time they are very good excuses. It's like my crush, my attraction to man literally expires 14 days after we first meet.

I know, I have issues.

Hello, the Phone is Ringing!

I, however, don't give a rats butt if and/or when my phone rings. That's what voice mail is for.

I've been getting calls from men I don't care to hear from. I don't know if it's just me, but if I don't bother to call a guy within a week, I consider that a sign to not call him ever again. Why don't men follow this philosophy?

Let's use Terrence as an example. The last time I heard from him was back in May. He wanted to start dating seriously. I was okay with that. It was almost summer and I needed someone or something to occupy my time. I told him that when I call him and leave a message on his voice mail, he better me back. He promised he would call me no matter what.

He just recently returned my last phone call. I was at work when it happened. I didn't recognized his number on my caller id so I answered. I recognized the voice immediately and pretended the reception was bad and hung up. I silenced my phone because I knew he would call back. He did but I didn't answer it.

He called me again while I was at work. I answered my phone yelling "I'm at work. What do you want!" He just wanted to talk. I told him again I was at work and hung up.

He called me later that night. We spoke for about 2 minutes before I got bored and asked why he called me. He said he just wanted to keep in touch with me.

Unfortunately, I don't care to hear from him. Maybe it would be different if we had established a friendship but that never happened because he never returns my phone calls.

Boy have things changed

I went to the website of my old Army unit in Korea to see what was going on, and there wasn't one recognizable face. I've only been home from Korea for a little over a year, but I thought I would at least see one familiar face. I even checked out all of the affiliates and at AFN Korea's main homepage and it seems like they've got brand new crews, too.

I miss Korea a lot. I have pictures of the camp I lived on hanging up in my cubical. It was so green there. And a safer. I plan on taking a trip back there in the future after I hit Europe and South America, of course. I've got to go to the places I've never been before revisiting the places I've already seen.

"You have a nice butt."

You have a nice butt? That's what Dilbert said to me today. I hope there was a reason he said it to me. I know he doesn't think that actually turns me on. So I have a nice ass. BIG DEAL. He might as well have said "Give me some ass." See this is why I don't date people from the office. They start saying stupid shit like that and all I can think about is them dropping off the face of the earth. Now I have to look at him whenever I'm at work.

CompUSA, a Company of Thieves

CompUSA sure was quick to charge my credit card for an item they had no intention of sending. That constitutes theft right? I just want to make sure. You think they would have credited my account before telling me they cancelled my order. It seems only fair. They will probably hold my money hostage for a couple of weeks. Those Crackheads!!

It still seems shady. If they charged my account, they should honor the price. It's not my fault the company's run by idiots.

CompUSA Screwed Up Big Time

I was a work cruising amazon.com for anything of interest. I decided to check out the price of Adobe Creative Suite 2 Premium. It was some software I had been looking at purchasing but haven't built up the nerve so spend that kind of money on ($1,200) for fear Adobe would release a newer version of Adobe creative suite. Boy was I shocked by the price advertised at Amazon. $293 dollars! I didn't believe the price and did some more investigating. CompUSA was seller. I've done business with CompUSA in the past for computer and software purchases and was very satisified with their prices and customer service. So I went to CompUSA.com to see if maybe amazon had disclosed the wrong price. Nope, the price was $293. So I placed my order. Can't beat that price.

I got an email from CompUSA the other day with my order number and a thank you for placing my order. Then the email went on to say CompUSA could not complete my order due to a pricing error. Those crackheads! Rather than honoring the price and gaining an even more loyal customer, they informed me my order was cancelled. Those crackheads!

I emailed customer service and politely told them I would never do business with them again. It's pretty shady to advertise a price on two different websites and not honor the price advertised.

Weird Dreams

I had a dream early this morning. I'm not sure what it was about but my family was in it. And we were at a Chinese restaurant. It was all-you-can-eat night and we each order a different dish (I order kalbi [Korean barbecue]). I, for some reason, didn't like the chair I was sitting in so I walked around the restaurant looking for another one. By the time I found a chair, our food arrived and I started pigging out. Then I woke up and got ready for work. I wish I had time to finish the dream. I really wanted to taste whatever it was on my plate.

The Third Date

The first date with Dilbert went okay. It would have been almost perfect if we hadn't kissed. I didn't want to kiss him. I prefer just a hug and a peck on the cheek. Kissing, in my opinion, is a very intimate act and I don't like getting intimate on the first date.

Our second date wasn't so good. We made out on the couch or I should say he try to kiss me and I'd push him away. Then he'd pull me closer and I'd push to get away. Again not something I wanted to do. I attempted to keep his mouth off me by starting a conversation. I asked him questions about his family and he answered. When I asked his age, he didn't want to answer. He said he didn't believe in devulging too much information, like his age, to people he didn't know.

Huh?

I'm not one to tell someone my age. I prefer to tell folks I'm twenty-twoish, but to not want to disclose my age to someone I'm swapping spit with is stupid. I don't understand why he would be in such a rush to be intimate with me, someone he barely knows, but don't want to tell his his age. Creepy.

On the third date, we actually conversed. He told me communication was very important. (Hmmm, I don't think so.) So I told him how I had been uncomfortable the last time I saw him. He told me he thought I was really pretty and that he just couldn't help his urge to want to kiss me. He also said he didn't think there was anything wrong with his behavior.

So in a nutshell, his urge to kiss me is more important than my comfort around him. I don't like that at all. He attempted to grope and kiss me. As usual, I pushed him away.

The only thing I can say is, he finally told me how old he is.

It's Almost Over

The one thing about telling a guy it's not meant to be is they're never around when you want to tell them. I had to break up with Jesse in an email when I really wanted to tell him over the phone. I tried calling Dilbert last night but of course he never answered his phone nor did he return my call. I know he has caller id.

Sunday night, Dilbert finally broke down and told me why he wants us to be a secret. Apparently he dated someone in the building and it didn't go so well. She accused him of sexual harrassment and he was reprimanded. Now he's on probation and has to watch his back. I wonder who this mystery lady is.

I had a dream last night. It was about Dilbert and his mystery lady. In my dream his mystery lady is this lieutenant that works a couple of cubicles away from me. Now, if I had guess Dilbert's type, I'd have to say she was it. If they did date, what made her decide to scream sexual harrassment?

Whatever happened it's enough to have him paranoid. But the one thing I don't understand is why would he bother asking me out in the first place?

I hope I get the chance to talk to him tonight. I don't want to send it in an email because 1.) he doesn't want emails from me (too much evidence) and 2.) it's just plain tacky.

Going Out Tonight

I meant to call Dilbert last night to tell him tonight was off but when I got off work yesterday, all I wanted to do was dope myself up with some Tylenol and go to sleep. I had the worst headache.

He came by my desk today to ask if we were still on. Of course I wanted to say no, but since we were at work and I had the cubicle to myself (my co-workers took the day off), there were still people out and about and I didn't feel like whispering why I didn't want to go out, so I said yes.

He told me he would call me at 6 p.m. and pick me up at 8 p.m. Maybe I'll get the nerve to tell him I don't want to go out. I want to go out, just not with him. I'm not into him. I realized that yesterday. Why else would I blow off returning his phone call until after America's Next Top Model was over?

Breaking a Rule II

I spoke on the phone with Dilbert last night. We made plans to go out Friday night but we hadn't come to a conclusion about where we are going. He first suggested we go down to his hometown (somewhere in L.A.), but I thought driving down there at 8 p.m. was a little late for me. It is a 65-mile drive from Lancaster to L.A. and I'd still have to drive back once the fun was over.

The conversation got really interesting when he started to explain how he didn't want me to talk about our phone conversations or dates with the people I work with. Well, duh! I'm not real big on divulging details of my personal life in the workplace.

I was really put off by this. It was reminiscent of the last office relationship I had when I was in the Army. The guy told me we should keep everything on the downlow because he was promotable and he didn't want to risk losing his sergeant stripes before he had the opportunity to pin them on. I understood that. I would have asked the same thing. But after dating three weeks, he dumped me and he didn't do it with much finesse.

We were hanging out at one of the local bars together and the bastard had the nerve to ask the bartender out right in front of me. That was a blow. I've had that happen to me before. I shrugged it off and carried on with my life. It was awkward working with him afterwards but eventually things went back to normal.

The part that really got me happened a year later when the new soldier arrived at our unit. She was tall, slender, and blonde. He didn't waste any time asking her out and he certainly wasn't secretive about his crush on her. Yip, for some reason, he was willing to risk a promotion just to be with her.

That was the part that hurt so much. I just wasn't worth the risk. And this is exactly how I'm interpreting Dilbert. He thinks I'm not worth the risk. This is why I'm going to tell him I can't go out with him tomorrow. So much for breaking rules.

Breaking a Rule

I have this rule about office relationships-never get your honey where you make your money. And it's proved to be somewhat helpful. I came up with it after an office relationship I had in Korea ended disastrously. The jerk dumped me for a juicy girl*. A juicy girl!

Enough of remembering what happened in the past. It’s over with and his balls are probably rotting off as we speak.

Anyway, Dilbert, the guy that asked me out, wants to take me to the movies. I haven’t been to the movies on a date in a very long time. Not since I went to see Joe's Apartment and my date begged me to choke his chicken. And a time before that when I went to see Leaving Las Vegas and my date wanted to play with my kitten.

Yeah, I know, going to the movies with men tend to get touchy feely.

Maybe I should suggest we go for dinner and a game of miniature golf.

*A juicy girl is a Russian or Korean female that works in a bar. G.I.s will purchase a drink (consisting of juice) from them for 20 bucks. The female will sometimes do more than just sit at the table and keep the G.I. company...if you know what I mean.

Katrina

I met this guy (Carson) online about three months ago. We lost contact with each other for about a month and a half (shortly after my grandmother passed). Then I up and emailed him around the time Katrina hit.

I didn't think he'd respond to my email. It was dripping with sarcasm. This guy had been to New Orleans on a business trip at the end of July (which was the last time I heard from him). After the hurricane hit, I realized I'd probably never get to see NOLA. I was very jealous.

He responded to my emailed and I got the impression he was happy to hear from me. He told me what New Orleans was like when it was dry and what he had been up to since we last wrote each other.

I think he wants to meet. I don't want to meet him just yet. I'm satisfied with emails and the occasional phone call.

Bragging Rights

I don't mean to rub it in, but I got to see the shuttle just before its flight to Florida, or wherever it's going. I was less than 1/4 mile away this time. It was so cool. The shuttle was mounted on top of a 747. Sorry I didn't get pics of it but cameras are not allowed on the flightline. It basically looked like a mama plane (747) carrying her baby plane (the shuttle). I'm a little more excited about this because I was always under the assumption that the shuttle was flown back to its destination instead of carried back. You'll probably see footage of it on the news. So make sure you watch today/tonight.

Unusual Wakening

I woke up this morning to a loud boom. At first I thought it was an earthquake but I earthquakes don't make that kind of noise. Then I figured the shuttle must have landed.

Everyone was so excited at work. Of course, having seen shuttle landings when I was a little girl living at Edwards AFB, California, I didn't think of it much. I've seen about three or four shuttle landings in my lifetime. But today, I got the opportunity to get a close look at the shuttle.

Yip, I got to see the shuttle on the flight line. It was being hauled off to the NASA hangar. I wish I had a picture of it, but it's illegal to take pictures of the flight line unless authorized to do so.

Granny's Birthday

Today would have been my grandmother's 78th birthday. My mom was really sad this morning. When I went into her room, I could tell she was crying and she had the obituary on the bed.

I didn't know what to say to her. So, I quietly left the room.

IMG_0056

IMG_0056,
originally uploaded by Shavonne.

I really don't have anything to write about, so I've posted a pic I took a during the rainy season. I took it while I was driving to work (not a good idea).

TIME

There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. I constanly feel like I have to spread the things I want to do over long periods of time. Like today when I got off work, I spent almost three hours organizing my photos at flickr instead of posting to my blog. I never finished organizing my photos. Over the next year or so I will be restoring some old family photos. There are over 300, so I'll be restoring photos forever because I don't even know how to work Photoshop. But that's okay because it's worth preserving family memories, especially of those that have passed away.

UPDATE

I've been really busy lately. I had to travel to Michigan June 26-27 to visit my sick grandmother. We didn't think she would make it through the weekend but she did. Then I went to Florida to visit my dad for 4th of July. When I got back to California I got the call that my grandmother passed away so I had to make arrangements for a trip back to Michigan for her funeral. I'm so tired. I just wanted to post something since I haven't had a chance to.

Girlfriend Has White Boy Fever

I received an email today from a good friend. She told me she's dating a white boy. This is completely shocking to me because my friend was never one to even look at a white boy. She told me she's never been attracted to them. In fact, she told me she would NEVER date a guy unless he was black.

My friend and I are black females; she's from Atlanta, Georgia, and I'm a Southern Californian. I told her that if I had that attitude, I'd never know what it was like to date because, well, black men in California don't seem to be attracted to black women.

I was stubborn in college. I only dated black back then. That means, I never dated. Well, actually I went out with two black men in those four years. Let's do a quick equation:

2 black guys x 2 dates a piece = 4 dates

Yip, I went out on four dates in the four years I was in college. My friend's reaction, "Wow, that's it?"

She, having been brought up in Georgia, never had a black man drought. Lucky her. The only draw back was the ratio of men to women. There were many more women than there were men, so she said women were always the aggressive.

Anyways, let me get back to the point of this post. My friend is dating a white guy! I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! I'm going to need pictures because I don't believe anything unless I can see it with my own eyes. I wonder what changed her mind. I wonder....

A New Boyfriend for NiceButtBunny?

Most of the guys I've dated in the last six months I met online at match.com. I never thought I would go out with someone I met on the internet, but I have three times.

In fact, my longest relationship ever was with a guy I met on the internet. Two whole months! And nothing to show for it, not even bitterness. I'm really proud of myself for going that long before I kicking a guy to the curb because I usually do in two weeks.

If you want to try online dating, here's a few tips:

1. Come up with an eye catching name. I chose NiceButtBunny. There's a lot of men out there that like ass and bunnies are cute and soft. So you get my point right?

2. Upload a really nice picture of yourself. Don't post pics of yourself posing with attractive people of the opposite sex. Those viewing your profile will think of them as competition, so crop out the eye candy. Remember, YOU should be the focal point of the picture. I posted a picture of myself posing with two really attractive males but I cropped them out. However, proximity to beauty is a good thing and it will radiate through the picture. So while I advise you to avoid posting pics of yourself posing with attractive people, do it as long as you crop them out . Here's a response from a guy that viewed my profile:

"Shavonne, you're funny. You've helped me to realize that another
key to a nice picture is the subliminal messages that surround it. For some
reason I was convinced that you have a nice body but when I took another look at
your pix there is nothing there to support that. That's when I realized how
slick you are! After reading your profile I saw that I had been influenced by
the BUTT in your screen name and in your best feature. You brainwashed me!"

3. Make sure your Intro is a positive one. Don't talk about your past relationships, because most likely they were shitty. Nobody wants to read about the ex.

4. Last, if you do decide to meet, make sure it's very public. I usually go for coffee shops like Starbucks.

I hope this advice works for you. Happy searching for your perfect match.

Boredom + Drama = MORE Boredom

I went out last night with a friend. It was her birthday. I don't think she was happy. In fact I know she wasn't happy. What can I do?

My friend should be walking on cloud nine. She's found a man to spend the rest of her life with and they plan to marry in July. Unfortunately, her parents don't like the guy. They don't like the fact that he's Mexican.

They've never met him, I don't think, but yet they don't like him. My friend's fiance is barely Mexican. And I mean literally. His mother is Caucasian and has red hair! Red hair! When you look at the guy, there's nothing Mexican about him. NOTHING.

With all of this going on, I'm still bored. I think I need to go out and meet some people without baggage like babies and boyfriends. Babies and boyfriends are just plain boring.

HOLD THAT TONGUE YOUNG LADY

I read a blog about how someone didn't say anything about how a cashier unhygenically handled some bread because as a person of color, they didn't want to come off as rude.

Now, I've experienced similar situations and I don't see anything wrong with speaking up. I had a meal served to me with hair in it. I didn't get upset and start yelling and screaming about it. I simply showed the waiter the hair. He took my food, apologized and asked if there was something he could give me to make up for the hair in my food. I told him no and asked for a refund. My two male friends thought I was bitchy and said I should have just removed the hair myself and enjoyed my meal. But I wasn't feeling well and I was grossed out by the hair. I definitely wasn't going to eat food that had somebody's hair in it and I wasn't going to pay for a meal I wasn't going to eat.

Was that bitchy?

Heck no! It's food for goodness sake. If the workers don't handle the food properly, it could make you sick.

Mother's Day Weekend

I had a good weekend. I took my mom shopping and out to dinner on Saturday. And Sunday, I went to church with her and then to brunch at Crazy Otto's.

My mom was really happy about me going to church with her. It really made her day. The whole church thing felt weird. There was a whole lot of yelling and praising of the Lord. I thought it was rather scary. I got the impression from the congregation that their God was a vengeful God. I think it was the many statements with "You better ......or God will ___ you." It didn't appeal to me at all. I just hope my mom doesn't expect me to attend church on a regular basis.


I logged onto Army Knowledge Online to look up some people I knew when I was in the Army. It seems they've either gone civilian or they got married because they're nowhere in the database.

I received Mas OS X "Tiger" in the mail last week. I have yet to install it on my Powerbook. I've been waiting for my mom to find the firewire cable to her iPod so I can get my music off of it. I knew she would lose some part of the iPod. I just hope she doesn't lose the iPod because it has my entire music collection on it. URRRGGHH! Those dang thieves!

20% Republican, 80% Democrat

I am: 20% Republican.

"You're probably one of those people who still thinks that getting a blowjob is not an impeachable offense."

Are You A Republican?

This couldn't have summed me up better.

Singledom, Exams, and a Better Thirty-Something

I've been single for almost two weeks. I thought my ex and I could be friends, but he doesn't seem to want that. I guess if he's too busy to call his girlfriend, he definitely doesn't have the time to call a friend. His loss. I've got more important things to do like find a new job and getting a higher education.

I just found out today that I failed my real estate exam by five questions (I needed a 70% to pass)! I knew I wasn't going to pass it. I never pass multiple choice exams. I've scheduled a retake for May 21st. That'll give me another two weeks to study and pass it. I will pass it this time for sure now that I know what to study for. The good news is, I know a lot about valuation and market analysis. I aced that section. I pretty much only passed the sections I did a cram session on the night before the exam. I've never been a good studier. That's why I'd take writing intensive courses in college. I'd rather write a paper than study for an exam.

I've also decided it's time to go back to school to get my master's. I've put this off for too long. My cousin Victoria said to me,

"Get your education out of the way by the time you're 30. You will like your thirties better than your twenties. You'll be more sure about yourself and more established."

Amen to that. I would like to own my own home or at least a townhouse or condo. Marriage doesn't seem likely. I think it's because I'm not needy. All of the unavailable guys I know have "needy" girlfriends. Or they're gay. I had to add that fact.

FORGETTABLE?

I must be the world's most forgettable woman. Every guy I've dated since I've been back in the States has said he'd call me but I won't hear from him until six days later or I won't hear from him at all.

Take my EX-boyfiend for example. He's been working double shifts trying to make some extra money. I'm okay with that. I mean the cost of living in Cali isn't cheap. He is also dealing with some family issues which I don't want to discuss and it's understandable. But I don't understand why he couldn't pick up the phone and call me to let me know he was okay? It wasn't like I was asking to see him everyday. All I wanted was for him to call me more than once a week. Was I really asking for too much?

Long Distance Relationships

My friend, Buffy, tried to fix me up with this guy she works with. He's a really nice guy and I was very interested in getting to know him until he told me he was leaving for Monterey, California in a couple of months. I still would like to get to know him better, but as far as a love connection, well, let's just say my heart doesn't grow fonder with distance.

There are distances that I'll be willing to put up with, like if he was going to Orange County or San Diego County (I live in LA County) but the Bay area is just too far away.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

THIEVES

It seems like no one wants to work anymore. First someone breaks into our house and steals my laptop (Sony Vaio PCGV505B), my iPod, etc., and a whole list of other things totalling around 20k. Now someone's logged into my AOL account and created a new screen name. FREE1DOUG. I wish I knew where this jerk off lived. He's probably the asshole that burglarized my house, either that, or some guy that bought my laptop from the person that stole it from me. IF you're reading this THIEF, please note that laptop you're so happily using is STOLEN and the police do have the serial number. If you get caught with it, you will face time in jail.

Camp Essayons

Camp Essayons,
originally uploaded by shavonne77.

A picture of the gate at Camp Essayons